I’ve been spending some of my free time hitting up Bikram yoga lately, something I absolutely love. Not only does it absolutely challenge every pore, cell and muscle in my body, it makes me think and grow and change inside. There are others who put these changes more eloquently than I do, but since yoga is rapidly becoming a bigger part of my life, I thought I’d share a few of the insights I’m gaining…so far.
- Yoga makes me think about myself as a teacher. Now that I have the big desk, it’s rare that I’m in a position to be a student very often. Truth be told, I’m not very good at it. I like being in control, I like running the show, I like being in charge. When I was in class the other night, I was struggling with a pose and the teacher didn’t see it. She was too busy helping a much more advanced student, praising the alignment of another and talking through the dialogue. Yoga is typically a quiet meditation, yet I felt like yelling, “WHAT THE HELL, LADY?!” because it felt so awful to not be noticed. It made me ask myself: do I see all my students? Do I get tied up in the ones who are interesting, who speak the loudest, who are the “squeaky wheels”? Do I get too caught up in what I’m trying to say, as opposed to noticing what’s really happening? I love that spending this time being taught makes me consider how I can do it better.
- Yoga makes me think about my fitness journey as a whole. Class is still hard. I’m not breezing through poses and truthfully, it takes a mental battle to get me to class, period. And once I’m there, I have moments where I loathe my body, my choice to come, my feelings. Still, I see myself improving. Poses I couldn’t get into when I first started are getting easier. Most of all, I’m realizing that it’s a process—a marathon, if you will. It’s a good reminder that progress will come in time in this whole “getting healthy” thing—it’s not an overnight journey. I’m trying to look to those little moments and bits of improvement and use them to hang on tight. It’s going to be a long road, with lots of bumps and lessons…but I can feel my attitude and my body changing.
- Yoga makes me appreciate my body. After class, I was in the locker room with a lady who is a bit older and bigger (gah, I feel bitchy writing that!) than me. I mentioned that her shirt was cute (it was turquoise and sparkly!) and she made a joke about needing to stay covered up. I remarked that being there was good and there was no way in hell I’d ever wear those shorty shorts some girls wear in class. She said that I should be proud of my body, because it’s so feminine: I have hips and boobs and it’s not perfect, but it’s pretty and strong and can handle 90 minutes of yoga…and that she hopes to look like me one day. I’ve never, ever in my life thought of my body as anything to be admired by anyone else, or myself, for that matter. It was such a cool moment for me. My body is NOT perfect, but at the very least, I’m trying to learn to appreciate it for what it is, instead of hating it for what it’s not. Plus, I know that I really am trying to make a positive difference in it right now, and that makes me feel more comfortable and aware.
Has yoga—or another activity—taught you things that you wouldn’t have expected? What are you learning lately?
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Here’s the post I’ve been waiting for, my dear…
My favorite part of this entire post is this: “I love that spending this time being taught makes me consider how I can do it better.”
In yoga, we are lifelong students—of our practice, our life, our breath, our strength and spirit. But, through our yoga, we are also lifelong teachers, to ourselves and to others. Because the lessons we learn in that room translate in oh so many ways outside of the room.
Namaste, lovely lady.
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By Hannah on 02.05.10 6:49 am | Permalink
That’s so amazing! I’m learning through running & being vegan this month, that how I feel in my body has literally nothing to do with what I weigh and has everything to do with how many carbs I’m eating during the day. And I’m learning that it’s not a race, it’s about feeing good and sticking with something. Getting out there (or, in the case of being on my treadmill in my basement, down there) is a huge victory every day.
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By Kyla Roma on 02.05.10 6:51 am | Permalink
Wow! What a wonderful compliment!!
I would love to get back into yoga – I think the forced contemplation time would help a lot – but I am terrified. The last time I did yoga I got stuck. Yep, stuck. I had to have my little brother pull me apart . . . it was bad news bears.
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By Ari on 02.05.10 8:04 am | Permalink
Your writing is so inspirational to me. It makes me want to get up and go. I wish you luck on your journey. Feel free to e-mail me for encouragement
I am sure I will need it on my journey to a healthier me
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By Haley on 02.05.10 8:26 am | Permalink
I am so envious of everyone who has these epiphanies about one aspect of their lives while doing something “unrelated”. That being said, perhaps I’m just not recognizing them.
I’ve been trying to learn more about myself by looking at the little things. And some things have caught me off guard. It’s been a real eye-opener at how drastically I’ve changed in the past few years without realizing it.
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By Manderz on 02.05.10 8:40 am | Permalink
Those are some really great insights, Amy. So often I tend to miss out on the opportunity to learn from trials/frustrations; where you were like, “My yoga teacher isn’t paying attention to me — I wonder if I ever do that to my students,” I usually stop at the first part and just mope about it. This is a good reminder to me to use every situation as a chance for growth and learning.
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By Tabitha on 02.05.10 10:04 am | Permalink
I’ve been reading Hannah Just Breathe for many months by now. And I’m always a wee bit envious of all she gets out of yoga. Me? I get sweaty, that’s what I get. =)
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By SoMi's Nilsa on 02.05.10 10:35 am | Permalink
I’m glad that yoga has taught you so many things about yourself. Lately, I’m learning that as much as I want a far off journey half a world away, I really want to be within driving distance of my family. So I’m looking for an adventure a little closer to home.
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By mandy on 02.05.10 11:58 am | Permalink
How funny–I just started Bikram this week, too. It is *tough* but so amazing. Yay you for doing this for you!
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By Kate on 02.05.10 3:21 pm | Permalink
I do bikram yoga as well and I have been amazed by the ways that my body has been challenged and how my mind has endured. Bikram is definitely something that takes a ton of harmony between the mind, body and soul in order to make it through. When my body is attempting to scream at me over how much it hates me my mind is reminding it to chill out and go with the flow, that the heat cannot hurt me but help me.
Best,
Hannah Katy
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By Hannah Katy on 02.05.10 3:46 pm | Permalink
I always roll my eyes when people get into yoga-talk because it’s not something I’ve ever been interested in and people who love yoga LOVE yoga & seem to think everyone else should, too. But I really love the last paragraph of this, and I’m so glad yoga is helping you find yourself.
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By Suburban Sweetheart on 02.05.10 6:48 pm | Permalink
My mom started doing Zumba. I kinda want to try that. Yoga would be cool too
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By Ashley on 02.05.10 6:53 pm | Permalink
Great post! This is definitely what running has taught me over the last year. It’s taught me to be disciplined, it’s allowed me to think clearly about things but most of all it’s taught me to LOVE my body.
I tried Bikram yoga a few weeks ago but wasn’t a HUGE fan (at least not of the studio I was at). I do love regular yoga though and I want to incorporate it into my routine more!
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By Amber from Girl with the Red Hair on 02.05.10 9:03 pm | Permalink
I was very into yoga for about a year, but then I started grad school and have fallen into bad fitness habits. I need to get back in the studio soon. When I was doing yoga, I felt like I was able to put things in my life in perspective (as cheesy as that may sound). Your post just inspired me to get off my butt and try it again.
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By Lindsay on 02.05.10 9:46 pm | Permalink
Wow, you’re making me want to try Bikram Yoga now. I’ve thought about it for a while, but I’d really like to get into it! Hmmm..
I loved hearing what you’re learning from it. Especially the part about you appreciating your body. I think too often we’re forced to adhere to some sort of false and almost impossible standard. Learning to love the bodies we are blessed with is a beautiful thing! <3
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By Lisa on 02.06.10 1:56 pm | Permalink
What a great post, Amy. It’s so inspirational.
I really want to get into yoga but it’s been a mental process just getting me to find somewhere. I do know that there are a few places I can go for free, which gives me NO EXCUSE.
Your post makes me want to really start doing yoga.
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By Stephany on 02.06.10 6:42 pm | Permalink
Yoga helps me be more aware of my body and how I carry it. It surprises me in what it lets my body do and has helped me find strength in surprising places. Plus, it just helps my crazy mind finally relax. I have never done bikram though, little scared.
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By Jessica on 02.07.10 8:29 pm | Permalink
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