I love doing things alone. Of course, these days, with 2 roommate and a boyfriend, and an office full of people (I don’t have a cube, my desk is out in the open), I’m literally surrounded by people all the time. So I love when I get a chance to do things on my own. But I’ve always loved to do things on my own. Never had a problem. Sometimes it’s a little annoying but most of the time I try to keep things balanced. I go to the movies by myself regularly, because, I mean, I’m in a dark theater and you can’t talk anyway!

When I was in England though, I made some acquaintances with a girl for a day. We were on tour together and we started chatting and ended up doing other stuff together and getting tea. So there’s that. But if I was purposefully out on my own, I wouldn’t join someone. But if I was traveling for a long time alone and someone invited me to sit down, I probably would. Who knows what kinds of tips or suggestions for the area you might get? I think it just depends on my mood and why I am alone at the time.

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By Allison Blass on 02.24.10 10:00 am | Permalink

Eating dinner out by yourself is an artform that I totally get behind. I don’t do it often but it was my favourite when I lived in Europe.

Also – the random invitation to join strangers? Not okay. They’re clearly not getting the point.

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By Ben on 02.24.10 10:11 am | Permalink

I love doing things on my own. Especially movies & concerts

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By phampants on 02.24.10 10:12 am | Permalink

I will also add that it depends on who it is. The girl was my age. I’m not sure I would be comfortable if it was an older guy (especially since we’re both attached with S.O.’s!) or an older group of women since I’m not sure what I would talk about. That would definitely be cause for alarm.

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By Allison Blass on 02.24.10 10:17 am | Permalink

Ha, this is so awesome that you blogged about this!

Yes, I also love doing things alone (even travel – I don’t care if that makes me weird). I feel completely comfortable around myself and I don’t need any sympathetic looks and people who try to “make my day better” by offering their company.

I am surprised people would even “inquire” when you’re obviously comfortable with eating by yourself while reading you book.

People are strange.

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By San on 02.24.10 10:21 am | Permalink

I love this blog – especially the “baby making” music part, lol. People are so smooth.

I do enjoy doing things by myself but I do have a mental hurdle about two of them – 1) eating alone and 2) seeing a movie alone. I’ve challenged myself to do both and found that it isn’t that bad in reality, but the looks I get (or imagine myself getting) do taunt me a bit. But both were good experiences, and I find myself wanting to do more things alone when I’m in my usual grind of life. However, since living in Italy, I have spent more time alone than I could have ever wanted and so now I find myself literally aching to find stuff to do with people – even people I don’t particularly like, lol.

It’s a balance – of alone and with people. And I would have eaten with the little old ladies only because I just have crushes on old people

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By Carolina on 02.24.10 10:36 am | Permalink

I thrive on doing things alone! But I might’ve accepted the invite from the ladies if I was curious about them, because new people totally intrigue me

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By Doniree on 02.24.10 10:41 am | Permalink

I am exactly the same! I had a great weekend away, to attend a wedding, by myself and loved driving around, seeing the sights, eating out by myself. But at the actual wedding? Totally picked on for being fat and single!! The photographer didn’t know what to do when he asked ‘where’s your partner?’ and I replied ‘I don’t have one!’ There was a very noticeable pause, he wasn’t sure whether to take the photo of me alone or not! Then I got a great big speech by someone (who is the least hurtful person you’d ever know, very surprising) which was basically ‘you’re so pretty, but you’re too fat or else it could have been you getting up there married’. Yes, I am getting a bit sick of the single life, but I have been perfectly happy doing my own thing, and will continue to be happy doing my own thing at times, whether I’m in a relationship or not!

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By Nicola on 02.24.10 11:37 am | Permalink

I just love you! This made me laugh.

There are some things I just prefer to do alone – shopping, scenic walking (more time for my thoughts), bookstore browsing, exercising. Hmm, that’s a lot I guess. I would never invite a stranger to join me! But then again, I’m always worried that I’m gonna freak someone out. You are most certainly not crazy. Having “me” time is one of the best and most successful ways to unwind from stress.

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By StaceyParadise on 02.24.10 11:50 am | Permalink

I not only eat alone but every year I take at least a weeks long vacation by myself.

I was taught that you should always make time for yourself and enjoy being your own friend. I find those who can be by themselves have more stable relationships and a better sense of self.

I’m almost always approached to join another table when eating alone, I always decline to let them know I’m there by choice…. also, strangers scare me.

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By Martina on 02.24.10 11:58 am | Permalink

Actually, I kinda don’t like people I don’t already know too. I’m not really sure how I made friends, they kind snuck up on me. And I’d hate eating with strangers, you can’t even relax because of awkward silences and trying to make conversation. I love eating with a book, it’s really one of my favorite things.

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By Mighty Mouse on 02.24.10 12:00 pm | Permalink

I am exactly like you. I don’t mind doing stuff by myself and I hate it when people think that’s weird. I would have been irritated too.

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By ButtersandRoses on 02.24.10 12:07 pm | Permalink

Um, I totally need to know the name of this Chinese restaurant.

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By Elizabeth on 02.24.10 12:16 pm | Permalink

Haha! This is awesome! You know, it seems like the weird reactions always happen in bunches. It’s like, every single day everything will be just fine, peachy keen…but then there’s that ONE DAY where everyone you encounter is slightly koo-koo. Not to say that it wasn’t sweet of the little ladies to invite you, but…it’s strange. You know?

I don’t think you’re weird for enjoying your alone time–I enjoy being alone, too. With four siblings, I grew up relishing my me-time. I like to become absorbed in my thoughts–although, this can be dangerous sometimes, too.

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By Lisa on 02.24.10 12:19 pm | Permalink

Yes, yes, yes! I am a huge proponent of doing things alone, and never would I invite an “unknown” to join me.

As to the bumping “baby music” that would intrigue me.

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By Britt on 02.24.10 12:22 pm | Permalink

I consider myself a loner but I HATE doing things in public myself. It makes me feel awkward. For example, when I was down in Manchester for the blogger meet up earlier this month, I ended up abandoned at the station myself for five hours. It took me nearly an hour to work up the courage to go into a bar, order a drink and sit down alone.

I envy you for how comfortable you seem to be doing things alone. But i don’t understand why the people around you thought it was such a big deal. I would just be thinking how damn cool you were!

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By Paula on 02.24.10 12:31 pm | Permalink

When I was college, I used to get teased for needing my “me time” but I can’t help the fact that after spending practically all day with folks, I need to retreat and just be with my thoughts and self. It re-energizes me.

I absolutely love going to movies by myself (it used to scare me) because I can actually on the plot, not have to worry about being interrupted by comments from whomever I’m with, etc.

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By thatShortChick on 02.24.10 12:31 pm | Permalink

I really like doing things by myself. Shopping. Errands. Watching movies especially. But eating alone is definitely the hardest. I’ve only done it a few times. Usually I get over my awkwardness pretty quickly and I find that the servers are often very nice and personable to me. I usually bring a book or a magazine (which I have in my purse at all times anyway.)

Funny enough, eating alone is my best friend’s favorite thing to do. But he is afraid of watching movies alone. Oh, well. To each their own, I think.

If some stranger at the next table wanted to eat with me, I’d be a little weirded out. I mean, I’d have to be in quite a good mood to accept. I ADORE my alone time. And they would have to seem very very VERY un-creepy, and that’s rare.

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By Andrea on 02.24.10 1:12 pm | Permalink

I am an absolute loner – I can spend hours by myself. Sometimes friends often say that they get bored by their own company, but I genuinely don’t. I get things done much quicker if I’m alone, and can do things I truly enjoy e.g. read for hours, watch a crappy movie Having said that I don’t invite strangers over, but I’ll never say never!

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By Lizzie on 02.24.10 3:28 pm | Permalink

Weirdness! I do lots of stuff alone (including eat in public) and haven’t ever had anything like that happen, either. Maybe it was just that place. Maybe they’re putting something in the eggrolls!

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By Ellie Di on 02.24.10 3:36 pm | Permalink

I LOVE doing things alone too. I try to get out by myself when I can… but it is hard because of my current home situation.

I am not sure if I would invite someone to dine with me. Eating is so personal. I prefer to do that alone too.

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By kilax on 02.24.10 3:47 pm | Permalink

God, there is nothing I love MORE than doing things alone. I can do them in my own time, however I want. I lived by myself in the city for 4 years and loved every second of it. I would dine alone, go to the bar alone, go to movies alone, go to the grocery store alone…and you know what? I really got to know my community and the people in it that way. I made friends with all the bartenders at my local pub (and got the “regular customer” discount frequently, FTW!), I knew my baristas, the owner of the Korean down the street loved me and taught me a few phrases in his native language (including “George Bush doesn’t have a dick”), knew most of the checkers at the grocery store by name, and really made a home for myself on those city blocks. I still love doing things alone and don’t ever hesitate to leave Andy at home when I need to run to the store or whatever. LOVE IT.

And those people who wanted you to eat with them? Um, weird.

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By Stevie on 02.24.10 3:49 pm | Permalink

You are totally not alone in… uh, being alone. I love being left alone in public because so much of my time is spent connecting with people that alone time when I can get it is an absolute bliss.

Maybe you should invest in some obvious headphones – like, over-ear ones.

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By nicopolitan on 02.24.10 4:23 pm | Permalink

the only time i would ever join a strangers table is when i go to a conference, because hello that’s when you’re supposed to meet people. otherwise i’m like you and i definitely do not object to doing things solo every once and while, it’s definitely not a bad thing.

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By katelin on 02.24.10 6:03 pm | Permalink

I also HATE small talk. It’s terrible…but I kind a think you shoulda joined that first guy – that blog post might have written itself in a whole other way, you know? *wink*

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By Adrienne on 02.24.10 6:06 pm | Permalink

Oh gosh, I am so glad that never happens to me. I like being with friends, but I also like being by myself. And I definitely like it better than having to sit with strangers during dinner. I usually prefer running errands by myself because I don’t have to feel guilty for dragging anyone along, especially if I spontaneously decide that there is something else I want to do as well. I do sometimes go to the movies by myself but not very often. At home, I watch movies by myself all the time. I need the time to myself where I can just withdraw to my thoughts and not have to interact with anyone, it allows me to recharge.

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By Karen on 02.24.10 6:10 pm | Permalink

I do things alone all the time and no one EVER asks me to join them… damn! LOL But like you, I like to be alone sometimes… an afternoon with a good book and a cup of coffee sounds like a great time to me

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By Walking on Sunshine on 02.24.10 7:07 pm | Permalink

I don’t mind being alone (like, at home), but I definitely can’t say I enjoy doing activities outside of home alone! I like company

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By Alyssa on 02.24.10 7:34 pm | Permalink

You are not crazy. You are awesome (duh). My greatest dream is to go out to eat alone and curl up with a book and a vodka soda or a delish craft beer and just hang out at a tavern, and perhaps take in an independent film afterwards. I LOVE going to the movies alone.

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By Kori on 02.24.10 8:39 pm | Permalink

I can do pretty much everything alone except dine out. I hate going out to eat on my own. I don’t know why but I just hate it.

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By Jessica on 02.24.10 8:43 pm | Permalink

I’m trying to force myself to do things alone, outside of the house lol. I LOVE BEING HOME ALONE though, that is for sure. I want to go to a movie alone…baby steps, right?

So, I’m obsessed with that I love you lotion and shower gel and I’m SO creepy because I think about you when I smell it ahaha…

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By Elizabeth Marie on 02.24.10 9:51 pm | Permalink

I’m trying to force myself to do things alone, outside of the house lol. I LOVE BEING HOME ALONE though, that is for sure. I want to go to a movie alone…baby steps, right?

So, I’m obsessed with that I love you lotion and shower gel and I’m SO creepy because I think about you when I smell it ahaha…

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By Liz on 02.24.10 9:52 pm | Permalink

Definitely a weird response. I’ve had to travel a lot for business and eaten many meals alone… never had that happen though.

At least the invitation and kind comment from the ladies who lunch should soothe the feelings engendered by the mean girls you referred to in the last post, no?

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By Keenie Beanie on 02.24.10 9:53 pm | Permalink

When I traveled for business in my last job I didn’t mind at all exploring/eating by myself. Same when I went to San Fran with the dude and his sleeping habits are flipped so i ahd the first half of the days on my own, I’d explore.

I love taking myself on solo dates when I’m feeling down and depressed. My only stipulation is no movies on friday and saturday evenings. because the theatre tends to be crowded and i become a little bit self conscious.

as for strangers? i love strangers. but i’m wary about boys. and one on one interactions with them.

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By linda on 02.24.10 10:19 pm | Permalink

You’re not alone. I feel the same way at work. I hate bringing lunches to work where I have to spend some time to prep in the kitchen. I avoid that by bringing quick lunches so I don’t have to make small talk with my co-workers. I find it fake and annoying how we’re always asking each other, “How are you?” “Good, you?” the same thing EVERY DAY!

I also hate sharing the elevator with people who try to make conversation with me. I’d rather go hide in the bathroom and take the next trip up the elevator.

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By steph anne on 02.24.10 11:10 pm | Permalink

I think I like being alone a bit too much. I’ve been offered the chance to share a huge apartment with friends and I’m just not sure about giving up my own space so completely. I would have my own room, but after 4 years of lounging around in my underwear when the fancy takes me (sadly it’s more Homer Simpson than Mae West, but, hey, why do I care, it’s just me, right?!) I’m not sure I can do it.
I’ve had people invite me to join them, and I always feel bad when I say no thank you, but sometimes communication is more effort than I need to make. I sometimes wonder why people hate being alone. It’s not like my own thoughts are so terrible. I can’t sit there without a book though. I’m not quite that secure… yet.

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By Sarah Faherty on 02.25.10 7:18 am | Permalink

I love being alone. I really do. Maybe too much.

I like shopping alone, running alone, and just having my own quiet time. I haven’t mastered the art of dining out alone without feeling completely awkward but good for you! It must be such a nice time, at least if you didn’t have the creeps asking you to sit with them. Eat with strangers? Umm…no!

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By Stephany on 02.25.10 9:38 am | Permalink

haha I have to delurk for this post! I’ve been reading you for awhile so guess it’s about time. Hi!

anyway, I am totally ok being alone! love it most of the time. Last night I actulaly went to one of my favorite plays that was being shown in a small theatre by myself. And the small talk thing…. absolutely hate it! I would rather sit there and stare at you than make meaningless conversation that neither of us really care about.

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By Hal on 02.25.10 1:20 pm | Permalink

Ha! I’m so proud of you for resisting the lure of a man blaring baby making music from his cell phone. Well done.

I am a huge fan of doing things alone, but it’s a delicate process. Sometimes I’m alone and want to talk to people but sometimes I’m alone and THAT’S FOR A REASON, THANKS. Giving off the right signals is tricky.

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By Moose on 02.25.10 1:26 pm | Permalink

Whoa I’ve never had that before. Crazy!

I dont mind eating by myself anymore and I definitely wouldn’t have said yes to either of those invites… but that’s weird that it bothered those people so much!

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By Ari on 02.25.10 7:04 pm | Permalink

I LOVE doing things alone – I rarely eat alone (at restaurants), but I love doing coffeeshops, shopping & movies alone. The best. What odd reactions – that would totally throw me off.

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By Suburban Sweetheart on 02.27.10 3:30 pm | Permalink

you wouldn’t last two minutes in the south.

i do stuff alone all the time- i’m not a big movie goer, but i eat alone a lot. i don’t bring something to do most of the time, looky how brave i am.

i get invitations to join people all the time. sometimes i take them up on it, and sometimes i decline. depends on my mood and who’s asking.

it isn’t uncommon for me to be told that i am too cute to do something alone, be alone, not have a valentine, etc. i kind of hate it, because i don’t generally think about the fact that i am single and alone until peeps remind me. i just think about how hungry i am and what i want for dinner.

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By verybadcat on 02.28.10 2:22 pm | Permalink

I love doing things alone. Shopping, going for walks, you name it. Especially now with the three boys at home – any chance to have a few minutes to myself is simply lovely. My husband’s family, though, is very different. They don’t share the sense of independence that I have and because of that they often offer to come along with me – I think it’s less because they think I’d want the company and more because they don’t think I should be out and about ALONE. Becuase THEY don’t like to be alone. It’s a big challenge for me to make sure I’m not putting them off while still maintaining my own boundaries.

As for lunch – I have to say that if the women were older than they were…you know, a bunch of little old grey haired ladies, I probably would have joined them. I just love little old ladies. But otherwise it would have been too uncomfortable and small talk-y for my liking.

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By Annie on 03.01.10 9:59 pm | Permalink

I’m all for errands by myself. While I’ve eaten alone, it’s usually at small places where I’m not the only one alone. I don’t blame you on the weirdness! Small talk is so awkward. I’ve never been to a movie by myself, but it might be time for that.

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By Erin on 03.02.10 7:38 pm | Permalink

I’m with you — I definitely enjoy the occasional movie or meal alone, even though I’ve had my fair share of weird looks and comments about it. I saw The Bucket List in theater by myself, and I think I counted FOUR different people who actually offered for me to sit with them. So weird.

And on the topic of weird things happening while you’re alone in a coffee shop:

Last weekend, I was sitting alone in a Peet’s Coffee Shop in Ventura, reading a book and enjoying some hot tea. I tried to pick a spot that wasn’t super close to anyone who was already in the store, but two minutes after I sat down, this middle-aged guy (clean cut, didn’t look scary or anything) came in and sat at the table RIGHT next to me. Not a big deal, except that he didn’t have a book or laptop or anything other than a cup of coffee (which was soon empty and never refilled) and he just sat there staring straight ahead for OVER AN HOUR. I really don’t know if he was staring at ME, or someone else, or what, because I avoided looking directly at him. It was just kinda weird.

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By Tabitha on 03.03.10 11:21 am | Permalink

I have always been PETRIFIED of doing things by myself- apart from shopping, i am a sole shopper, i cannot stand other peoples opinions when im on a mission.

But last year for the first time i went to the movies by myself. It was SO liberating!! to be able to walk in and not have to consult with someone where we should sit. Then answer their questions through the movie. And just seeing a movie without having to argue about it- AMAZING. I have not been back to the movies with anyone else in tow since! Its a solo activity from now on

But if someone sat next to me and said i shouldnt sit alone i would feel incredibly weird. Its cool to do things alone.

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By Alyssa on 03.05.10 7:02 am | Permalink