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- Nothing you do before high school really matters. I can think of few things I did or accomplished before high school that have impacted my life deeply. I see my students freaking out over grades and boys and choices and I want to remind them to slow down, to make good choices, to build good habits — but also to relax, already, and enjoy the ride.
- Good credit is vitally important. I didn’t understand this, and darn it, I wish I had made radically different choices with my finances.
- No one expects perfection. For so long, I put pressure on myself to never, ever act a fool or show weakness. The truth is, a little vulnerability goes a long way, and no one expects you to be good, perfect or strong all the time. Asking for help usually endears you to people while relieving your burden at the same time. A win-win.
- You shouldn’t expect perfection from anyone else. For much of my younger years, I put certain people on pedestals. I was horribly disappointed when they didn’t behave exactly the way I thought they should (or, more honestly, the way I wanted them to!). The more forgiving I am with others, the happier I am because I’m rarely disappointed. Let people be who they are, and be grateful.
- You can’t please everyone all the time. Sheesh, this is a tough lesson to learn. I still spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to make everyone happy, but I’m slowly but surely realizing that you can’t. I’m also continuing to remind myself that the person I should be most concerned with pleasing is myself.
- Taking risks is necessary. I tend to be a bit of a scaredy cat: I’m afraid of making the wrong choice, of being injured, of looking stupid and of wayyy too many irrational things to list here. Still, I’ve never, ever had anything less than an amazing experience when I’ve taken the leap and done something I was afraid of — and taking risks rarely disappoints.
- Calculating and “keeping score” doesn’t help anything. I think it’s easy to get caught up in things like “Who called who last?” or tallying wrongs or trying to analyze the motives of those around you. The less I worry about who sent the last text, what friend reached out last or wondering why someone is nice or not, the happier I am. When I follow my heart in relationships, I’m rarely disappointed.
- All that stuff they tell you about taking care of yourself is really true. The healthier I eat, the more I workout and the more nights I get adequate sleep, the happier I am. I’ve yet to regret a trip to the gym.
- There are few things a good song, a long drive or a hot bath can’t cure. These are the things that work for me — the things that uplift me on even my worst days. Figuring this out has made lifting my mood significantly easier. I think everyone should have good things in their back pocket that help them on a rough day.
- Don’t judge. I can talk crap with the best of them, but more often that not, I am so pleasantly surprised by people who seem like they might not be my cup of tea. Giving people a chance to reveal themselves before you make a snap judgment is so important, and holds so many gifts.
What do you hold as your own truths? What do you know for sure?
29 Comments so far
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If I’d known #3 and #4 while growing up, my early college years would not have been nearly as emotional! Delusions of perfection have caused me so much trouble. Great list, Amy.
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By Ashley on 03.01.10 1:39 am | Permalink
I agree with all of these.
I also know that love really is everywhere. No matter how alone you think you are, someone, somewhere is probably thinking of you and wishing you were there. It may not be the person you’d wish was thinking of you, but, as you say in number 10, be open about who you welcome into your life and the good will surely outweigh the bad. I love how your posts remind me of things I need to be reminded of. Thanks!
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By Sarah Faherty on 03.01.10 1:50 am | Permalink
I nodded my head in agreement as I read each and every one of these. I get excited when I see your name in my reader. Your blog is always a breath of fresh air.
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By Shannon on 03.01.10 6:14 am | Permalink
What a wonderful post. I had an idea recently to post my own sort of “Code of Conduct” in dealing with the world, and with myself. Realising that other people don’t expect perfection has been a big one for me, as well as the necessity of taking risks in moving forward in life. Great post
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By Emily Jane on 03.01.10 7:29 am | Permalink
I am so glad to have found your blog! And the first post I read is a list…a girl after my own heart!! I’m a list lover!
Look forward to reading more!
One thing I know is true…Reality is something you have to rise above!
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By Wendybob on 03.01.10 7:36 am | Permalink
Hmm. A good list indeed.
The one thing I know for sure is that I am infinitely stronger and more capable than I give myself credit for—usually.
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By Hannah on 03.01.10 7:59 am | Permalink
# 2 is insanely correct and I, too, wish I had realized this in my younger years. Thankfully, the lessons I’ve learned working for the credit bureaus have turned it around — BUT MY GOODNESS! I can’t stress how important good credit, as well as having credit in general is (I know folks who avoid building credit because they’re fearful they’ll screw up, but that doesn’t help either).
# 9 is also insanely correct. Bouncing around my kitchen to terrible, embarassing pop music and Taylor Swift can solve almost ANY problem — or at least eliminate the mindset that I can’t eventually work past it. I also love road trips, we drive 1900 miles evvverrrry Summer and most people think I am insane, yet its very theraputic!
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By Brittney on 03.01.10 9:42 am | Permalink
1. if you don’t risk anything, you’ll never gain anything.
2. people let each other down. we’re all human. what really counts is what happens after.
3. we teach people how to treat us, for better or worse.
4. it never, ever does any harm to ask for what you want. if you can muster the courage, you’ll find yourself getting things you never thought you had a snowball’s chance in hell of receiving. all because you simply made your desires known.
5. people will take what you give them, and give what they can. be careful in your giving, lest you defeat the purpose of giving by expecting too much in return.
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By verybadcat on 03.01.10 10:01 am | Permalink
Very cool! I think for me a big one has been that it’s all practice, and no one else has any more right to success than I do. I’ve spent a lot of time waiting to have the right skill sets and waiting for the right time to do my own thing as I want to, and only this winter have I realized that if I want to have my own business and become the girl I want to be? “Some day” can be in the next couple of months if I get working on everything =)
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By Kyla Roma on 03.01.10 10:02 am | Permalink
I’m still working on #7 – being mathematical and slightly OCD it’s hard for me not to keep score. I just need to remember that it doesn’t matter.
The one thing I know for sure is that usually the simplest, most intuitive solution is the best one. When faced with any problem, I tend to over think and analyze it but if I go with my gut and listen to my heart it’s always the right way to deal with the problem.
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By Martina on 03.01.10 10:07 am | Permalink
This is all very true. Especially the one about good credit. Lord, I wish I realized that one earlier.
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By Kim on 03.01.10 11:11 am | Permalink
I love the last one, hard to do sometimes but so right
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By andhari on 03.01.10 11:17 am | Permalink
excellent list. I often look back at the girl I was during high school and wish I had worked on finding “my voice” back then. I was more independent than most girls but I never really stood up for myself.
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By thatShortChick on 03.01.10 11:58 am | Permalink
There’s certainly a few things on your list that I could learn. I especially like your approach to your health “I’ve yet to regret a trip to the gym.” It’s so very true, but I’ve never thought of it like that before.
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By Manderz on 03.01.10 12:53 pm | Permalink
Most certainly agree with everything on your list. Especially #8. I really wish I would have taken better care of myself. I’m really paying for it now.
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By Jessica on 03.01.10 2:00 pm | Permalink
I couldn’t agree more with #1. My aunts used to tell me that ALL THE TIME and I never ever believed them. Now I do!
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By Amber from Girl with the Red Hair on 03.01.10 2:07 pm | Permalink
Love it.
Let’s see, I know that happiness is a choice. Sometimes life is HARD, a bad attitude makes it harder.
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By Habbala on 03.01.10 3:17 pm | Permalink
Nobody will truly love you until you love yourself. <3
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By *M* on 03.01.10 4:06 pm | Permalink
I love this post. I can’t agree more with this. Great learning lessons
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By Madeline on 03.01.10 5:34 pm | Permalink
very wise words. some i wish i had known earlier, some i need to remind myself (especially the keeping score bit… too often i think “i texted him last” when, well, does it really matter?)
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By Ari on 03.01.10 6:55 pm | Permalink
I agree with most of them but #2 about the credit thing. I really wish I didn’t use them only for SERIOUS emergencies. Everything back then was an emergency.
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By steph anne on 03.01.10 11:58 pm | Permalink
#1 = so true!! Everyday I listen to my students talk about how much their GPA, their bf, their hairstyle will affect their lives in the future. I want to tell them that they are wrong, but they definitely don’t listen to me.
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By abby on 03.02.10 11:37 am | Permalink
OMG #4 and #5 are constantly things I’m working at. You and I have discussed this before – this idea that perfection is not real, yet we strive for it anyway. And at what cost to our sanity?
Oh, it’s so important to slow down and smell the freakin’ roses. That too.
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By StaceyParadise on 03.02.10 11:38 am | Permalink
#5 is definitely true. I still struggle with this; struggle with saying no, doing something I need to do even if it’s not in someone else’s best interest. However, when I make myself happy? It’s so much easier to make others happy. Not such a burden (I’m sure that sounds terrible to frame it that way.)
Great list.
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By Nora on 03.02.10 2:27 pm | Permalink
#3 and 4 and 10 are so so true and it takes knowing yourself really well to able to let all of that happen. Really great post, I am a lover of lists but I like it when a simple list can be so deep.
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By Witty on 03.02.10 9:09 pm | Permalink
Beautiful! If only I’d known these things a LONG time ago!
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By Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks on 03.04.10 10:03 am | Permalink
I love your list! I wish I could go back and tell my younger self to get over myself. Faster.
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By Windsor Grace on 03.05.10 7:37 am | Permalink
wow – items 2-5 totally hit home with me. I wish I would have realized that a long time ago…man my life would have been a lot easier!
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By tillie on 03.06.10 12:54 pm | Permalink
So I’m trying to catch up on my Google Reader (as usual), and I’m actually really glad I didn’t read this post until now, because NOW is the time when I needed to hear a lot of this stuff. I don’t know if I’ve told you lately (or ever), but your blog is so often such a HUGE encouragement to me. Your posts are full of insight and inspiration, and for that I am deeply grateful.
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By Tabitha on 03.15.10 9:22 am | Permalink
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