Comments on: Facebook Unfriending: The 21st Century Bitchslap

By: brookem

brookem — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 14:39:49 +0000

i haven’t done much unfriending yet… but i know that i need to cut down. when i joined i was all about accepting all the friend requests. now? i want a little more privacy. but i do feel a spec weird about doing so and not letting them know. then again, what? an email, “hey, im unfriending you?” i figure, if we havent talked at all through fb thus far, there’s no need for a personal message letting them know. i do think it’s different with close friends, like in your situation. i can see why what happened would irk you.

By: Chanel

Chanel — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 06:44:19 +0000

I think its a little ridiculous to unfriend someone on Facebook. I have around 500 friends on Facebook right now, and of that massive amount, I basically talk to a maximum of *four* of those people on a regular basis. Facebook is not a realistic indicator of a friendship – it’s a way of getting the goods on the lives of other people without having to pretend you’re interested in spending time with them to find out.

The truth is, if a friendship is going downhill and you’re beginning to develop separate interests, you’d probably forget they were even on your friends list to begin with. To actively seek out someone you don’t even talk to anymore just so you can unfriend them is a passive way of sending a hostile message – one that just screams, “something about you has ticked me off!” Clearly, Miss H has something against you – but I wouldn’t even bother stressing it; someone who goes out of their way to cross social etiquette isn’t worth your time anyways.

By: Jill

Jill — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 04:24:28 +0000

first of all, this nearly made me spit out my wine:

Andrew
19 October 2009 at 11:26 am
Just for the record, H is a huge bitch.

gotta love andrew…and you, too.
the whole facebook friend thing is tricky. i have been un-friended (is this a word?), but have not been a de-friender (again, is this a word?).
i guess i am just a mega creep and like to stalk people from my past/present too much.
love you friend…on facebook and in real life.

By: Alyssa

Alyssa — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 03:12:07 +0000

Yeah, I go on un-friending sprees…but it’s always people (usually from high school) that I wouldn’t ever talk to anyways. I am sure they didn’t even know Buuut, un-friending someone you haven’t talked to in a few months..that’d be a little weird to do. I just don’t like having 200 “friends” is all.

By: Stephany

Stephany — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:30:00 +0000

I don’t do the Facebook unfriending often. I did do it to my brother’s girlfriend because I was spitting mad at her. Yes, it was immature. I get it.

But I don’t unfriend, mainly because I’m shallow and want to look like I have friends. Ha. Guilty.

I’ve thought about going through my friends’ list and unfriending people I don’t talk to/have no interest in their lives. I have people I just “friended” because I knew them in middle school but don’t ever talk to them.

But, really, if I did that – I’d be down to 30 friends. That’s a little too depressing for me.

By: Amy

Amy — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 00:12:32 +0000

Love the blog! Especially since it deals with a topic that gets on my nerves– being semi-included in a group. Too bad H didn’t have the nerve to face you on her friendship issue.

I have only defriended one person– a long time friend of mine who was a bridesmaid at my wedding and who also named her daughter after me. However, I was truly the raft that held up that friendship. All of the effort in that friendship over time came from my end. She flaked on dinners, didn’t call me back, etc. The last straw was when I saw her two years ago and she suggested lunch the next day. I rearranged my plans (which weren’t much in the first place) to make it possible because I was thrilled to have the chance to catch up. She flaked. No call. No e-mail. Nada. Therefore, she was defriended. I was so pissed. Did I call her to explain? No. Otherwise, I have hidden a couple people who are very conservative and respond to everything that Fox News presents. Ick.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:40:57 +0000

I have a friend who, on Myspace, would send out a bulletin every once in a while that said something to the effect of, “I’m cleaning out my Myspace. If you have not written me a message or a comment in the last few months, you will be deleted.” Then the next time, all it was– “Myspace spring cleaning. You know the drill.”

By: Beth in SF

Beth in SF — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 20:07:26 +0000

I have unfriended only two people: a cousin and an ex-boyfriend from high school. They are both people I didn’t exactly adore before, but they added me as a friend, and I accepted thinking enough time had passed that things would be cool. Then both of them proceeded to post terrible things like raunchy pictures of college girls making out together, defaced Obama posters (and not the funny kind), homophobic stuff, racial slurs, all kinds of scum of the earth behavior. So, I unfriended them. I doubt they know, and if they do, I doubt they care. I was just tired of seeing their stuff on the main Facebook page, and I don’t have to live life afraid to log onto Facebook, okay?

Now, that said, I don’t think in H’s place I would have done what she did. I definitely would have tried to get in touch and see what could be done to salvage the friendship, although, and this may be harsh, sorry, but I don’t think she was interested in being friends anymore. And who needs people like that in their life? Not you, not me, not anyone. It stings now, but you’re better off without her. And in a year, hell probably in a few weeks, you will really get a kick out of it, it’s quite laughable.

By: sparklytosingle

sparklytosingle — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 19:45:23 +0000

I usually go on a mad Facebook Defriending Rampage every few months when I feel that my friend list is getting out of control with randoms I never speak to. I will unfriend for a litany of insignificant reasons and I don’t lend a lot of thought to it. I don’t know why but I have never liked any kind of lists to get out of control – I go nuts if my inbox is too full or my to-do list is too long and I also go nuts if there are too many people all up in my business on Facebook. If you never at least leave the odd comment on my wall then you run the risk of a 21st century bitchslap, courtesy of me.

On the other hand, I wouldn’t have unfriended you based on the situation you described in this blog post. So I’m of two minds here.

By: barbetti

barbetti — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 19:03:36 +0000

You know some of my current issues withe GROWING UP brigade of “friends” on Facebook and yet, I STILL haven’t unfriended them. I have issues I guess.

Still, the email H sent you kind of made me laugh. Were those metaphors hers?? Hilarious.