This morning, as I drove to work, I was thinking about my mile-long to-do list and how grades need to be finished and I have a million holiday projects to start on and I was freaking out, because I knew there was something that I had forgotten. Something important. A phone call? A birthday? A work project or conference?
It wasn’t until I was G-chatting with KK when it struck me that yesterday was a VERY SPECIAL DAY that I forgot to acknowledge on this blog, and at all.
Yesterday marked 12 years since I have last vomited.
I know I’ve joked from time to time about my vomit phobia, but it’s real, y’all. Like, legit. If I so much as feel the urge coming on, I LOSE MY MIND, and engage in my steps of prevention, which are as follows:
STAGE ONE (early nausea): Immediately begin rememdies of Diet Coke and gum, to settle the stomach. DON’T PLAY. Most nausea can be warded off completely if you stay ahead of it. This is key.
STAGE TWO (feeling really, really queasy): Continue with Diet Coke and gum and/or Altoids. Find source of cold water, a cold pack, etc. and apply it to inside of wrists, face, and most importantly, BACK OF THE NECK. You want to lower your body temperature, STAT. Again, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE. I also begin a few rounds of positive thoughts here. My mantras: “I am feeling FINE!” and “This too shall pass, you are stronger than the nausea!”
STAGE THREE (it’s real bad, yo): GET THEE INTO A COLD BATH. Don’t mess around. Run the cold water. Get your whole head under that faucet, making sure cold water is on the back of your neck. Expert tip: DO NOT DO THIS IN A FULL BATHTUB. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, will push you closer to the brink of barf than inhaling the water. Trust me on this one. Also? Begin singing, thinking even more positively and generally thinking about anything BUT how ill you feel. And wait it out.
This method works for me, guys. Swearsies. And it’s a time tested method, which had withstood some nasty food, bad medications and wayyyy too much alcohol.
Is it weird that I honor my No Vomit Anniversary each year? Probably. Do I care? NOT AT ALL. I plan to make this a life-long thing. Please do not scare me with pregnancy tales and the like: I AM STRONGER THAN THE NAUSEA.
Copyright © 2012
“Swearsies.” My new favorite word of all time.
Be glad you weren’t me last weekend. Too many margaritas and I was a gonner. It was rather embarrasing.
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Um, you are weird.
However, as someone with a SUPER weak stomach and someone who rarely barfs – you are right on with these tips.. although I didn’t know the Diet Coke thing – I usually use freezing cold Sprite instead.
But I’m glad you’re 12 years vomit free. Congrats.
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Yeah!
And yes, mind over matter often works…
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I like to vom. Makes you feel better.
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Heehee. Reminds me of Ted from How I Met Your Mother – “Vomit free since Ninety-Three!”
Do you ever try ginger for nausea? If you like ginger, there are tons of delicious options like ginger chews from Trader Joe’s or candied ginger, and of course ginger ale!
Congratulations on this momentous anniversary!
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I haven’t vomited since I was 23. And, before that, I hadn’t vomited since I was 7. Yep, SEVEN. Stomach o’ steel over here!! That said, if I even begin to feel nauseous, I freak out. Yech. It is a truly terrible feeling.
Also, um, HELLO—-the new digs!! Love it!
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I didn’t realize Diet Coke worked… I have used regular Coke before and yes, gum, mint gum. Also, peppermints work for me. I do find it funny that you celebrate this anniversary… too cute! Here’s to another year, vomit-free!
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You figured it out! WELL DONE. Also: Sorry I chat jumped last night. I was dying and had to fall into bed. Also, Part 2: I recognize this template from the Great Template Perusal of 2009. Aren’t they great?
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Hilarious. I have 2 friends who are TERRIFIED of vomiting/other people’s vomit. The lengths they go to not vomit/see vomit never ceases to amaze me.
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Weird, but impressive. I was like that for a long time too. But, something I found out about myself when I was oh, about 19 years old, is that it does not take a lot for me to have a horrid, nightmarish hangover, even if I did not get “drunk” the night before. And said hangovers typically involve some amount of vomiting. A normal person would just…not drink. But, I still do. (Now who’s the weirdo?) So, that paired with having the wonderful experience of morning sickness has sort of upped my tolerance for the yuckiest of all yucky experiences.
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congrats on your 12 year vomi-versary! your methods are truly excellent and have saved me when “i’m not well”.
also – i LOVE the new blog design. the heading (is that the correct blog term?) and little pink leaves before each post are darling.
well done.
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This celebration is not strange at all because I am also very afraid of The Vomit. However, at some point or another, after a long, LONG hiatus from vomit, I found myself barfing all over my driveway while seated in my friend’s VW Golf. (He was so sweet, though; he hosed down the driveway after I was done.) Anyway, since then I’ve had about one really awful night per year that ends in regurgitation. I’m not happy. I’m not proud. But I just want you to know, if it happens to you, I’ll still love you. I’d hose down your driveway, too.
P.S. Thanks for the tips! I could have used this info when I was terribly hungover at work last Wednesday. I made my nausea go away by talking to my boss about my job.
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Wow… lol. Now me? I do NOT fear the vomit, I embrace it! When I was having gall bladder issues, I became so ill most of the time that I grew accustomed to it. I can vomit on command and without using a finger to gag myself. I can THINK myself into vomiting.
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[...] to The Crazy That Is Amy, I don’t do vomit. I have established clearly enough on this blog my deep-seated fear of vomiting. It is intense and goes way beyond a general dislike or being skeeved out by it—like, [...]