Why I’ll be seeing “Eat, Pray, Love”

Disclaimer: This post is not dedicated to any one person, or directed at any one thing.  I’ve seen these sentiments everywhere, and this is my opinion.  That’s it.  Take it or leave it, hate me or love me, but these are my thoughts.

Over the past few weeks, my Twitter stream and Facebook page have filled with little snarky remarks regarding the release of the movie “Eat, Pray, Love” based on the book of the same name.  I’ve taken the time to read them all, haven’t really responded or said my “piece” about my feelings, but man, do I have them.

You can call me “rich and white” or give me the side eye or think I support her “whining” but honestly?  I freaking love Elizabeth Gilbert.  I loved the book.  And I’m for sure seeing the movie.

I’ll tell you why.

First of all, I bought this book before the Home Shopping Network line, before the movie, before anything, really.  I read it back in 2006, when I was 23 and going through my own divorce.  And while most of my divorce grief consisted of Eat, Cry, Drink, I absolutely loved her journey.  I felt for her.  I felt her struggles.  The book opens with her discussing those bathroom floor moments, those quietly desperate moments when she knew she was trapped, unhappy and alone.  I had my moments: the bathtub moments, nursing stress-induced migraines, where I thought about death and running away and figuring out anything I could to just escape my life.  I understood her.

One of the biggest complaints I’ve heard about her is that she is “spoiled” and got to run away.  If you honestly tell me that in a moment of complete crisis, the end of life as you know it, that if someone told you they’d pay for you to travel the world, to escape the day-to-day unhappiness you were facing, that you’d turn it down, I’d call you a liar.  I call bullshit.  Most people I know would jump at the chance, and many have.  I’ve read more blogs of 20-somethings who are unhappy with their life, who quit their job, who need a change and take off to “study abroad” or “backpack” through Europe or even the US, calling it a “quarter-life crisis” and expect no pushback.  And please, spare me: I highly doubt that all of those 20-somethings funded those trips themselves.  Mom and Dad paying for it, expecting nothing in return, is no different than publishers subsidizing your trip.  And again, NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.  But please, let’s not act like Gilbert did something wrong by taking a trip of a lifetime; no one I know would dare criticize any of the amazing trips of other people we know.

Just because her journey looks prettier doesn’t mean we can judge it. Yes, people have changed their lives (myself included) without the benefit of a ton of money and world travel.  I find it odd that so many of her naysayers are the same people who cry out for freedom, for individuality, for the ability to choose our own path, for the chance to do it differently.  I find it disheartening that they extend that grace to themselves, to people doing it on terms they consider acceptable, but fail to extend it to Gilbert.  I have seen Elizabeth Gilbert speak, and in all honesty, I doubt that she thought this little book, this most personal story of hers, was going to skyrocket into the fame it has.  And sure, I can get behind the fact that it seems a little ridiculous, a little over-the-top.  Still, I ask you, honestly: if you wrote something that so many people loved, that was optioned into a movie, would you say no?  Can we fault her for being a good business woman, for turning an opportunity into a huge cash cow?  I don’t think so.  I just don’t.

I can definitely support the notion that other people have much worse lives.  Um, yeah.  They do.  And trust me, I’m not insensitive to that fact.  I taught for three years among devastating poverty, and I’m continuing in that vein as a mentor to a child whose life contains more sadness than mine ever will.  Still, I can understand the feeling that on paper, life looks great, but inside, things are not.  I’ve been there.  Whether she’s rich or privileged, she’s human.  And humans feel unhappy and frustrated.  While yes, I feel completely envious of her chance to run away from life, I refuse to hate her for it.  I just can’t.  Also: if you have a blog, your life is better than 99% of the world.  The fact that you have money for a computer, for Internet, for experiences to blog about, your life is better.  And I refuse to even comment on the irony of BLOGGERS commenting on her supposed self-pity and narcissism.  That’s what’s made blogs big, folks.

In short: there are many paths to creating the authentic life so many people are passionate about.  Why criticize someone who got to do it in an extraordinary way?

I’m not expecting you to change your mind, nor do I expect you to buy in, read the book, see the film.  I realize that this post might piss some of you off, or make you think I’m just spoiled, but I’m sorry.  I loved the book.  I love the fact that she got to write about beautiful places while healing from a terrible sadness.  And soon, you’ll find me, popcorn and Junior Mints in hand, sipping on a Diet Coke and enjoying the hell out of one of my favorite books from the past five years, as all the characters I fell in love with come to life on a movie screen.