Disclaimer: This post is not dedicated to any one person, or directed at any one thing. I’ve seen these sentiments everywhere, and this is my opinion. That’s it. Take it or leave it, hate me or love me, but these are my thoughts.
Over the past few weeks, my Twitter stream and Facebook page have filled with little snarky remarks regarding the release of the movie “Eat, Pray, Love” based on the book of the same name. I’ve taken the time to read them all, haven’t really responded or said my “piece” about my feelings, but man, do I have them.
You can call me “rich and white” or give me the side eye or think I support her “whining” but honestly? I freaking love Elizabeth Gilbert. I loved the book. And I’m for sure seeing the movie.
I’ll tell you why.
First of all, I bought this book before the Home Shopping Network line, before the movie, before anything, really. I read it back in 2006, when I was 23 and going through my own divorce. And while most of my divorce grief consisted of Eat, Cry, Drink, I absolutely loved her journey. I felt for her. I felt her struggles. The book opens with her discussing those bathroom floor moments, those quietly desperate moments when she knew she was trapped, unhappy and alone. I had my moments: the bathtub moments, nursing stress-induced migraines, where I thought about death and running away and figuring out anything I could to just escape my life. I understood her.
One of the biggest complaints I’ve heard about her is that she is “spoiled” and got to run away. If you honestly tell me that in a moment of complete crisis, the end of life as you know it, that if someone told you they’d pay for you to travel the world, to escape the day-to-day unhappiness you were facing, that you’d turn it down, I’d call you a liar. I call bullshit. Most people I know would jump at the chance, and many have. I’ve read more blogs of 20-somethings who are unhappy with their life, who quit their job, who need a change and take off to “study abroad” or “backpack” through Europe or even the US, calling it a “quarter-life crisis” and expect no pushback. And please, spare me: I highly doubt that all of those 20-somethings funded those trips themselves. Mom and Dad paying for it, expecting nothing in return, is no different than publishers subsidizing your trip. And again, NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. But please, let’s not act like Gilbert did something wrong by taking a trip of a lifetime; no one I know would dare criticize any of the amazing trips of other people we know.
Just because her journey looks prettier doesn’t mean we can judge it. Yes, people have changed their lives (myself included) without the benefit of a ton of money and world travel. I find it odd that so many of her naysayers are the same people who cry out for freedom, for individuality, for the ability to choose our own path, for the chance to do it differently. I find it disheartening that they extend that grace to themselves, to people doing it on terms they consider acceptable, but fail to extend it to Gilbert. I have seen Elizabeth Gilbert speak, and in all honesty, I doubt that she thought this little book, this most personal story of hers, was going to skyrocket into the fame it has. And sure, I can get behind the fact that it seems a little ridiculous, a little over-the-top. Still, I ask you, honestly: if you wrote something that so many people loved, that was optioned into a movie, would you say no? Can we fault her for being a good business woman, for turning an opportunity into a huge cash cow? I don’t think so. I just don’t.
I can definitely support the notion that other people have much worse lives. Um, yeah. They do. And trust me, I’m not insensitive to that fact. I taught for three years among devastating poverty, and I’m continuing in that vein as a mentor to a child whose life contains more sadness than mine ever will. Still, I can understand the feeling that on paper, life looks great, but inside, things are not. I’ve been there. Whether she’s rich or privileged, she’s human. And humans feel unhappy and frustrated. While yes, I feel completely envious of her chance to run away from life, I refuse to hate her for it. I just can’t. Also: if you have a blog, your life is better than 99% of the world. The fact that you have money for a computer, for Internet, for experiences to blog about, your life is better. And I refuse to even comment on the irony of BLOGGERS commenting on her supposed self-pity and narcissism. That’s what’s made blogs big, folks.
In short: there are many paths to creating the authentic life so many people are passionate about. Why criticize someone who got to do it in an extraordinary way?
I’m not expecting you to change your mind, nor do I expect you to buy in, read the book, see the film. I realize that this post might piss some of you off, or make you think I’m just spoiled, but I’m sorry. I loved the book. I love the fact that she got to write about beautiful places while healing from a terrible sadness. And soon, you’ll find me, popcorn and Junior Mints in hand, sipping on a Diet Coke and enjoying the hell out of one of my favorite books from the past five years, as all the characters I fell in love with come to life on a movie screen.
Copyright © 2012
LOVE this post. I read the book in 2006 also and I seem to have missed the boat on all of the licensed gear — I had no idea it existed until people started trash talking the movie.
I love her story, I love her adventure and I loved the book. I also love Julia Roberts and I’ll be in the theatre too.
When did good stories get BAD? I will go with the 8th-grade explanation: people are just JELLUS!
I didn’t love the book, but to me it’s kind of like twilight- fun & good for a girl’s night out. Only there are no vampires, if I remember it correctly. I’m excited to see Julia Roberts in this too.
I think I’m looking forward to it for the same reason I looked forward to Julie & Julia- the movie can soften up the edges of the book that rubbed me the wrong way. For some reason.
It’s probably the junior caramels
I’m going alone to the first showing on Friday because I cannot wait. It coincides with my trip at the same time last year and I don’t care if anyone thinks I’m lame for being into it. Any chance a person gets to feel nostalgic for anything, be it a memory of a great book or an experience, I’m all for it.
And blogs are the most self-indulgent and narcissistic things in existence so that contradiction always makes me laugh.
Love this! You have basically said exactly what I feel about it. People are very judgey about the book because they judge themselves. People project. Also, yes, she had a lot of cash. But you don’t have to go to Bali or India or Italy to find yourself and be alone with yourself or eat and pray and love. Her story is inspiring because it is not about the places, it is about her finding herself and about the people she met along the way who helped her see who she truly is.
Since 2007 I read the book three times and each time I cried, laughed and was thankful I made certain choices and broke the barriers of my own fears. I did it sitting in my bedroom and making a choice to move to Virginia.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
I think you make some great points in this post. There is not a person that would ever turn down a chance to go out and travel like she did. Not a single person. And there is always going to be people who will judge others for the way they live their life, I say judge away. Anyone that does is not worth your time.
I actually own this book but never read it. This post makes me want to read it now. Plus did you know Elizabeth Gilbert was the girl who wrote an article about Coyote Ugly that they ended up turning into the Coyote Ugly movie?
As a non-fan of the book (I couldn’t make it past the Italy part. But I want to try again – I must! Persevere!) I greatly appreciate this post. Mostly because the biggest complaint I hear about the book is how “self-indulgent” it is of her. Well guess what kids – you said it – isn’t that EXACTLY what all of our blogs are? Yes. Yes. And definitely yes. No judgment call or criticism, but that’s what so many artistic people are – a little self-indulgent. We are taking a part of ourselves and turning it into something tangible – whether we write, or paint, or sing, or whatever. And self-indulgent as it is, we shouldn’t hold it against her if we aren’t going to hold it against ourselves.
And I don’t know about you, but if I didn’t write my head would explode. I need a little self-indulgence every now and then.
And honestly, I would SO take a paid-for trip around the world. And write about it
All my best!
Carolina
Here, here. I was resistant to the movie at first not for any of those naysayer reasons but because the book was so wonderful and so personal to me – I was afraid of letting anyone else color it for me or bring it to life. I knew how I pictured it and I wanted to keep it that way.
But then I thought about what it was that had me so moved and it was her story, her courage, and the beauty in the world that she explored. Her story made me realize how big the world was beyond my own front porch (where I sat while reading it), and not only that – how I could experience it for myself in a way that was spiritually rich, delicious, and full.
I’ll see the movie because it set me on the path I’m living now, which is truly the best thing I could have
Good God. YES YES YES. I was thinking of writing something along these exact same lines.
I haven’t read this book; to be honest, all the things I’d heard on blogs, Twitter, etc. really turned me off from it. Then my mom said she loved it and I realized that listening to [mostly] strangers on the Internet is the lamest thing ever, so I intend to read it (once my dad finishes it first, hah!)
It’s kind of sad how the Internet can dictate SO MUCH what is deemed cool. Like I said, I was turned off at first, but then I pulled my head out of my ass and remembered my mom is cooler than the whole of the Internet, so if she says something’s worth it, then something is worth it.
I have more I could say, but I’ll spare you the marathon comment!
I can’t really say much because I haven’t read the book…though it’s been on my to-read list FOREVER. I just never got around to it, and then it got all hype-y which makes it hard to enjoy a book sometimes.
Still, I totally get where you are coming from. I’ve noticed on twitter that people just want to tear this book apart! Funny, that it so often seems to be the same people who complain when people have negative things to say about the way they live their own lives. If you don’t like the book, you don’t like it. Move on.
I’m definitely watching- I love her too. And the book. And I don’t care if she whines and exagerrates and was smart enough to get it paid for– it’s HER EXPERIENCE!!! HER LIFE!!
For gods sake people, ease up.
Thanks for sticking up for the other half! And oddly enough, I will be nibbling Junior Mints & sipping Diet Coke too. In spirit with ya. XOXO
VERY well said. I haven’t read the book… not sure I’ll see the movie and I don’t hold a strong opinion either way. But more power to her, and Dooce, and anyone else that turns a little introspection and the ability to tell a good story into personal commercial success.
Sing it, sister. I wish that we could all celebrate another person’s success and opportunity, and appreciate the fact that she wrote about it in a fashion that makes it an enjoyable read.
Yes yes yes! I’m with you, I read this when I was going through the exact same experiences and basically it was the right book to read at the right time. Plus how jealous was I – all that opportunity! My goodness. I’m definitely going to see the movie – hope they don’t destroy the book I love.
LOVE, LOVE this post! You hit the nail on the head. I am glad that I am not alone in having such strong feelings for this movie. I found myself arguing with a facebook “friend” for this exact reason. It’s not about the money, it’s about her journey and she had the guts to do what alot of peeps only dream of doing. I have read this book twice so far and each time I learn something different and fall in love with it more. If I’m remember correctly (don’t quote me) I believe she made the decision to travel b4 the publishing company said they finance it. Either way I applaud EG for her journey and am so grateful that she chose to share it with the world..can’t wait for the movie. I will also be sitting there on Fri. with my popcorn, jr. mints (my fave) and reg coke watching it all come to life.
Have you seen Gilbert”s TED Talk? Amazing woman. Really if you get 20 minutes look it up and listen. She’s more than she seems.
I must admit I used to be one of Elizabeth Gilbert’s haters. It was all out of jealousy! I would love to have had the same opportunities she was given.
I needed to grow up.
Today, I own the book. I still am not a huge fan of it; I haven’t been able to get through the latter two-thirds of the memoir.
But I’m a fan of Elizabeth Gilbert. More power to her for her successes. More power to her for helping you and so many other readers around the world. I will be seeing Eat, Pray, Love eventually and I look forward to doing so.
Hope you enjoy Eat, Pray, Love on celluloid as much as you did on paper!
I really did not enjoy the book but I don’t consider myself a Gilbert hater. I don’t begrudge her the opportunity she was given or the experiences she had. I just didn’t connect with her writing. It felt a bit false and insincere in parts. That being said, I do want to see the movie. I agree with Kyla – a movie can soften the rough edges of a book. I really don’t understand all the hate that is flying around this movie and the book and Elizabeth Gilbert (poor woman! Having to defend herself for … taking a trip? Writing a book? Where is the hate stemming from?!)
I loved the book!!
Having been on a huge, international trip recently I know firsthand how traveling can change you. Ya, I didn’t live in any of those places (oh how I wish I could afford that) but seeing life on the other side of the world gives you a whole different perspective on life. So I can TOTALLY see how her year of traveling changed her.
Also? I adore Julia Roberts. I can’t wait to see this movie!
I loved this post even though I didn’t love the book. I for one demand even more Amy telling it like it is! Love it!
Haven’t yet read the book, Sarah is dragging me to see the movie. But…after reading your post, I’m dying to find out what all the controversy is!
I LOVED the book and I gave it to many of my dearest friends after I read it. I enjoyed her journey and I always enjoy reading about someone’s opportunity to travel. I would take advantage of any chance I had to travel the world on someone else’s dime!
Due to my husband’s irrational hate of Julia Roberts, I am not sure when I will get to see this. So if you need a movie friend… let me know!
PS Another book I loved with a similar premise is called “Honeymoon with my Brother” by Frank Wisner. He worked here in California for the governor and gave up his whole career and life to travel after his engagement fell apart. It didn’t have the same emotional impact on me as “Eat, Pray, Love” but I enjoyed reading about his travels and journey of self discovery nonetheless! I think you may enjoy it.
I have to admit I am firmly in the ‘didn’t love the book’ camp. Actually, I that’s not true, I read it and it was ok but then a few years later I saw the Elizabeth Gilbert on Oprah and she just rubbed me the wrong way. Something about the way she spoke about how she doesn’t really do yoga anymore and that it was just a phase just made me feel like the book and her vivid epiphanies were kind of a sham and a cash grab. Thinking about the book again after seeing her on Oprah is why I personally do not find her an inspiring figure but that said, I’m with Sarah: Who cares what the internet thinks? Plus Julia Roberts is so damn darling, so you pretty much have to see the movie for that reason alone, right?
A great post. I, for one, adored “Eat,” felt OK about “Pray & stopped reading at “Love.” And I don’t really like Julia Roberts. But somehow I want to see this movie anyway, maybe to experience the feelings so many people felt with the book that I somehow missed…
You really are the best, you know that?
Yes! I agree so much! I love the book and I’m probably going to go see the movie the day it opens. (My mom, who also loves the book, and I have been excited about it for months!) I think that the main reason that people say they hate the book is just simple jealousy. They resent Gilbert for her success and money. I’m a poor grad student in a creative writing program, and I think that so many writers resent writers who make a lot of money from their work, just out of jealousy. I understand it — there are so many great writers out there who have so much trouble selling their books that it’s easy to feel jealous of those who do succeed in that way. But I don’t think that it’s right. I think any book should be judged only by the merit of the writing itself, not the dollar amounts attached to it. Hating a book only because it made a lot of money is just as bad as hating a book because it didn’t sell very well. And like you said, I think most people would jump at the chance to accept money from a publisher to travel the world and write about it. Since most people don’t get that chance, they’re jealous of the few who do.
I can’t wait to see this movie. I don’t know where people found the falseness and insincerity in the book, maybe that’s just because I’m a very trusting person and I tend to take what people say at face value, but I really thought it seemed incredibly genuine. She described even the indescribable so well it MUST have been true! Anyway this book saved me when I was going through my breakup with my ex-fiance. My journey mirrored hers in so many ways… I got laid off and my fiance dumped me completely unexpectedly within a few weeks. We lived together so I also had to move back in with my parents, and all of a sudden nothing about my life looked anything like it had a few weeks earlier. So I went on a trip as well. (Paid for by money I earned, by the way, not by my parents, as did Elizabeth Gilbert. She may have earned the money in ways that other people think sounds like so much fun that it isn’t really work, but that’s not the point. She was paid the money as an advance on a book contract, and she fulfilled her end of the contract, making a shit ton of money for herself and the publisher. How did she not earn it?)
Because our journeys were so similar this book REALLY resonated with me and it truly did save me from depression and even suicidal thoughts. It meant so much to me that when I heard it was being turned into a movie I couldn’t wait to see it and I was so happy for the author that this success was happening for her. I couldn’t even get through the previews the first ten times I saw them without crying because this story touched me so deeply.
Anyway, since when is it a bad thing to get paid well for doing something you love and are good at? People are jealous. End of story.
I love this post. I still have not read the book, but I’ve been wanting to for quite awhile. For awhile I just ignored it because I heard from so many people that it sucks and is self absorbed and blah blah blah, but now I’ve started hearing more because of the movie and between that and the previews I’m dying to read and see it.
I totally agree with you as far as the blogger concept goes. Our generation is filled with so many flighty, head-in-the-clouds, “i have to find my own adventure and travel the world and then never.stop.blogging.about.IT” kids, and they seem to be the same ones that have knocked on this story. As much as I’m all about following your dreams and what you believe to do what you want, some of the people with that mentality really get to me. ESPECIALLY when they hate on something that appears to be exactly what they set out to do.
Anyway I am really glad to have read this and it’s only encouraged me more to hurry up and read the book so I can see the movie.
I haven’t heard the book but I do want to see this. Mostly for the scenery, a little for Javier Bardem but mostly because I want to live vicariously through that adventure and indulge the part of me that is dying to do the same thing.
I agree with you 100%. I don’t understand why people feel the need to criticise people who take advantages of the opportunities they are offered. Would she be a better person for turning down her publisher’s money? I don’t think so, she would be a fool who didn’t make the best of the luck she had. I know many people would never be able to do what she did, but that is no reason for her not to. Most of these snarky types are so busy snarking, they miss the great opportunites they could be enjoying. I will certainly be watching the movie, and applauding Gilbert’s good luck as I go. BTW if any publishers are reading this and would like to fund my life in Japan, fear not, I’ll jump at the chance and run with anything you’d like to offer. I’d follow Gilbert’s example.
I had no idea that people felt so strongly about this! I’ve heard from people who love the book, and those who didn’t like it. But they weren’t critiquing HER; they didn’t like her writing style. Maybe I just haven’t been paying much attention to the hooplah, though. I haven’t read the book yet so in a lot of ways I really couldn’t care less about Elizabeth Gilbert, you know? She means nothing to me. The book’s been on my “to read” for a long time. I probably won’t see the movie until I read it, though. I’m a stickler like that
Always have to read the book first!
Props to you for sharing your opinion!
I too love that you wrote this. I guess that is what blogging is all about; voicing our opinions in our own little piece of the internet pie.
Anyways, I appreciate your honesty. I myself couldn’t finish the book. I only read the book because I’m a huge Julia Roberts fan and wanted to read the book before going to the theaters. I didn’t know there was a lot of backlash or “drama” going on about the book and/or the movie until I read your post.
Kyla summed it up for me though, this book reminded me a lot like Julie & Julia and like it I’m sure the movie will 110% better.
So appreciate reading your honest take on this, Amy. Because, I admit, I’m one of the haters. I loved everything leading up to India, and then, when she started in on yoga and going to the ashram, ohhhh, I just couldn’t proceed. Well, that’s not true, I DID proceed, but with a horrible taste in my mouth.
But, I respect your opinions here—they are well put. Which is no surprise.
Enjoy the movie and those Junior Mints!!
My favorite books are works of about people overcoming personal struggles. That said, I am by no means an Elizabeth Gilbert fan. When I read the book, I felt like she was being disingenuous. For me, it lacked the sincerity I expected from someone coming out of her situation. It didn’t help she was being paid to write about her experiences, but that’s not the only reason why I didn’t like the book. That said, I think the movie could be quite good, especially considering I really like Julia Roberts.
Oh my, I just love EVERYTHING about this post. You make some amazing points and are really clear about some stuff that I’ve never been able to article before (“Just because her journey looks prettier doesn’t mean we can judge it.”) Keep on rockin’ girly – so glad I found this blog!
I haven’t read the book or seen the movie (YET) but, I agree with you 100%! I know if I had that chance I would jump at it in a minute!
Amen, hats off, rock on and all that good stuff! :O)
I’m going to agree with Nilsa here. I’m not a fan at all.
I do love Julia Roberts though so I’ll probably see the movie eventually.
I have the biggest girl crush on Elizabeth Gilbert, she can do no wrong in my eyes. Although I wasn’t going through a divorce when I read her book last summer, I was in a difficult place in life and her words resonated with me in so many ways.
I will be seeing the movie, although I’m hesitant to jump for joy over it like I did with the book. Movies based on books generally tend to disappoint me, and because I’ve seen so many videos with Gilbert (including her TED talk) it’s going to be hard for me to see Julia Roberts (even though I love her, too) personify Gilbert on the big screen.
I FREAKING LOVE YOU FOR THIS POST!!! I’ve felt like such a nerd/outcast etc for being so in love with this book. I went through a divorce, too, and I totally related to and also learned from this book. It really made me think outside the box in so many ways…I adored it! It’s been one of the best books I’ve read in a long time, and I agree 100% with all of your “arguments for” this book…I couldn’t have put them better myself! I can’t wait to watch the movie, too. <3
I feel like I need to see the movie because I must have missed something reading the book. It didn’t resonate with me and I found her voice lacking. I think I had really high expectations starting it and the sizzle fizzled very very quickly. I hope the movie turns out well because I do love me some Julia Roberts.
Dude, people have some OPINIONS about this. Which, really, only helps her in the end. I think we’re all narcissistic and lovely at the same time and if someone wanted to pay me for being said narcissist? Fuck yeah I’d be on board with that.
Seeing the movie this weekend with Jamie. Clearly.
I love this post! Such a coincidence because today I had planned on writing a post on E,P,L and when I clicked over here this morning–bam! Great minds think alike, so I totally had to write about it
AMEN! That book resonated with me powerfully and I’m peeing my pants in excitement to go see the movie.
All the haters are just jealous that they don’t have to courage (or opportunity) to REALLY start over when things get bad.
I read this book earlier this year. Not because it was a bestseller. Rather a friend recommended it based on where I was with my life. And for that reason, it really resounded with me. Sure I thought “it must be nice to travel like that”, but I say that about anyone who gets to travel extensively. When I saw the trailer, I was a bit thrown off. I didn’t want a movie and a “star” to ruin the book for me. But reading all the comments actually makes me want to see it – if only to give me backgrounds for the next time I read the book.
I completely agree with every word you’ve written here! Now, should I get Peanut M&Ms or Reese’s Pieces at the theater?
Love this! And you, of course.
My main concern with the film is that I don’t want them to fuck it up. I love the book. I read it in 2008, so it was around the height of the books popularity. I didn’t know anything about it, but people seemed to love it so I read it. I love Eat and Pray the most, because I love food and God. But Love wasn’t my favorite section, though it was good anyway. I love Julia Roberts so I don’t think she’ll ruin it but I am concerned that the movie will ruin the book. Movies usually ruin books so I’m more like cautiously optimistic about the whole thing.
I loved the book and am nervous for the movie because I want them to get it just right. I’m sure a lot of people dream about visiting a foreign country and don’t think they can achieve it, but really, it just takes balls. The cost of living in a lot of countries is so much lower than a mortgage or rent in the US. I loved the book because she just went for it and that’s what people are jealous of, they don’t have the courage to take that flying leap.
TOTALLY agree w/ you on this. The whole notion that her story is somehow less significant b/c she’s privileged and can spend a year traveling makes me laugh. I’m far from privileged and could never afford the same journey of self-discovery on which she embarks, but that doesn’t make me think less of her or scoff at her experience. I find that criticism to be absolutely absurd and frankly, classist and ignorant.
I enjoyed the book and don’t care what all the haters say. I honestly don’t know what their problem is. So what if she doesn’t represent the average woman what with the book deal she got and the trip she went on, it’s still a good book. (And I’ve never even been married.)
I couldn’t agree more and I can’t wait to see the movie