Maybe it takes a truly horrible year to really pause and reflect on what it is you want your life to be about. Maybe it takes the dizzying highs of things being perfect, and the quiet restlessness of waiting for the other shoe to drop, or the awful, terrifying fear that everything you know, love and hold dear will change dramatically in a matter of days.
Maybe it takes a decade of dramatic growth, of crossing that threshold from child to adult and becoming someone who is completely different from her 16-year-old self to look back and think of all the things you always, sometimes, never want to do again. Maybe it takes stacks of thick journals, begun in childish scrawl, filled with thoughts, plans and ideas about all the things you’d do when you were finally an adult, and ending with quiet reflection and confusion of actually being grown-up, the realization that you don’t know anything at all, to make you want to Create Your Life.
As we get ready to embark on a new decade, I feel optimistic. I look back on the things I’ve experienced and thing that even the most horrid moments weren’t useless. I can see a purpose in what was accomplished and what wasn’t. I can laugh. I can look back on the things I once held up as ultimate truth and appreciate how far I’ve come, not only in my world view, but in my view of myself.
We’ve all probably heard or seen that tale of the dropping the quarter in your hand to grab the dollar in front of your face—or something like it (actually, that’s probably not it at all, but whatever. There’s a story about that somewhere that involves dropping and grasping). This week, I’ve spent time thinking about the things—literally and figuratively—I need to drop in order to make room, to grasp new things.
For me, this New Year is about saying goodbye, just as much as it is to saying hello. I want to let go of certain beliefs about myself, my story, my life and welcome in new ones. I want to let go. I want to stop looking back and admiring what was, and to start looking to what is, what can be, and what will be.
So, today I am saying goodbye. Goodbye to the people and things that no longer serve me. I am saying goodbye to longing for those days of being a size 0 and saying hello to embracing my body and making it as healthy as possible. I am saying goodbye to the friends I’ve written about missing, and choosing to believe it’s a gift we’re not friends any longer. I am saying goodbye to beating myself up for being divorced and stop pondering the life I could have. I am saying goodbye to any hope that I will have a friendship with someone I loved deeply and being really and truly okay with that—because it’s the past. I am saying goodbye to feeling insecure. I am saying goodbye to pouring my energies in to people who don’t appreciate them, or me. I am saying goodbye to those stories I’ve told myself for so long about what I am and what I’m not. I am shedding the last tears I will cry over the things above, and putting them away to rest, forever.
I want to wake up on January 1, and say, “HELLO!”
Also, I promise that this will be over soon…but have you voted in the 20SB Bootlegger Awards yet? How about January’s Featured Blogger? I’d love your votes in both!
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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jen Lemen, kim fuller. kim fuller said: RT @jenlemen: Saying goodbye is just as important as making resolutions this year. What are you saying goodbye to?: http://bit.ly/6mR6Cc … [...]
Awesome post! I’m hoping to say goodbye to a lot this year as well and hello to the life that I want to lead. Good luck!!
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What a fresh approach to the year wrap up. Loved it!
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I’m saying goodbye to infertility this year!
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First time reader here, and you have me hooked on your blog. This is probably one of the most brilliant posts I’ve read anywhere. I am so with you on saying goodbye to certain things.
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love this. i stumbled onto your blog from jen lemen and thankful that i did.
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Great way to look at things heading into the new year
I think you have just the right attitude. Good luck!!
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This was beautiful! I am posting my “decade review” tomorrow and realize how insecure about myself I’ve been all through this decade. So I’m saying good-bye to worrying so much about what people think of me, I’m saying good-bye to worrying about being good enough for people, and I’m saying good-bye to the unhealthy me! I can’t wait for 2010!
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What a great post. 2009 has been a sort of ongoing decision of goodbyes and hellos, and it’s been a struggle to say goodbye to some of the things you really feel like you *should* have in your life, but are ultimately doing more harm than good. I’m going to head into 2010 feeling more okay about my goodbye decisions, and with more determination and drive to say hello to all sorts of new things.
I have a feeling 2010 is going to be an amazing year for you, and I can’t wait to see everything it brings you
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I adore this post. I mean it. I might print it out and put it on my wall. I seriously need to say goodbye to some things and, for the first time, I’m actually ready to do it. 2010 will be amazing.
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This was such an inspiring post! I’ve never thought about the things that I should be saying goodbye to, just the things that I need to change. I suppose when I actually reflect on those things that I need to change, a good chunk of them are things I should be saying goodbye to! Thanks for sharing this and opening my eyes to a new perspective.
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I loved this post!!! I am totally breaking up with 2009 for something better, 2010.
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This was a beautiful post. Thanks for linking back too, I enjoyed getting to know you and your blog that way as a first time reader – so glad I came over
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wow this has me thinking, wot a positive way to bring in the new year…beautiful post!
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Social comments and analytics for this post…
This post was mentioned on Twitter by jenlemen: Saying goodbye is just as important as making resolutions this year. What are you saying goodbye to?: http://bit.ly/6mR6Cc (via @justatitch)…
So I’m new here and sloooowly going through your year (creepy sounding, I swear its not LOL) and your “Where Friendships Go to Die” post struck a cord in me 100%. I might need to make a post to vent for myself a particular loss so I can move on!
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Awww what a great post. Have a fantastic new years!
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Sing it, sister. Your voice is strong and clear.
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Saying goodbye is hard but sometimes its for the best. Happy New Year!
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Funny I was just processing about the whole “goodbye” thing. I like your perspective. I need to say goodbye to alot of things in my life trying to hold me back. Luv ya!
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<3
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