So, last week, I wrote all about how much I hate denim & how I plan on only wearing skirts & DOWN WITH JEANS.
I meant it.
No, really. A few of you were very concerned about me & my dress wearing ways, including one of you sweet things who took the time to send me a Hateful Email about how dresses will “make me look stpid, because short girls shuldn’t wear dresses & I’m wasteful” & probably kill puppies! WHEE! I think my favorite comment came from Lauren From Texas who said dresses were great, as long as they didn’t have that Mormon Polygamist look. Girl, I am WITH YOU.
Over the weekend, I purchased a few very cheap dresses & have been feeling quite pretty & pleased with myself. Except for the fact that California was WARM & GORGEOUS as it is supposed to be, but the weekend was blustery & awful, & I am still cold now.
The other big issue (okay, fine, a totally first world problem!) is my paleness.
Guys, I am white. Like, blinding, scary pasty white. You can see my veins. It’s the antithesis of attractive. Also, I have a very complex relationship with Tan.
If I sit in the sun, I burn immediately. The scary blister burn. The I-want-to-rip-my-skin-off pain that only the whitest among us truly understand. And then there’s the itching & the aloe vera & the general disgustingness that is BURNING YOUR SKIN OFF.
When I was younger, I used to hit up the tanning bed. It was laughable, because I’d literally start with two minutes & then build up to four & so on. AND I WOULD STILL BURN. And, I would itch and be generally miserable, because seriously, I am NOT CUT OUT FOR THE TAN. Nor do I have time to waste at the tanning bed every day of my life.
In college, I decided “Hey! Sunless tanner is the way to go!” I applied it myself, and wound up looking like this:
The first time I applied it, I looked like a striped orange zebra. My mom & I nearly died as I showed her my legs & arms which were streaked. A few years later, I did the foaming mist, & placed several frantic calls to Leslie, a former tanning expert, begging her to tell me how to GET IT OFF MY SKIN, as I watched my knees and elbows turn an orange not found in nature. I then wore long sleeves for a week. IN JULY.
This year, I am trying the sort of “slow tan” Glow Moisturizer. So far, so…okay. I mean, I’m getting glowy, & there’s only one patch on my ankle that is a little orange (which, if we’re offline, real-life, hangout friends, I EXPECT YOU TO IGNORE SAID ANKLE).
This is progress.
Still, I know that sadly, the minute I step into the sunshine for longer than 10 seconds, it’ll be game over, but for now, let this girl have her faux-sunkissed dreams.
Or at least don’t mock me.
Are you a tan person? Are you pale like me & have suggestions for how to avoid blinding people with my Pale? HELP.
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hey
my mate is totally peely-wally too, and she swears by a spray tan she gets at a local beautician. it makes her look like she’s been on holiday and tanned naturally, not orange at all. It’s weird, it even seems to bring out her freckles. Maybe try something like that?
I am the palest pale as well
(When I buy makeup I just grab the lightest colour… it usually works out but sometimes it’s too dark).
I’ve use Pur Minerals Get A Little sunless tanner
http://www.purminerals.com/Get-A-Little-Self-Tanning-Lotion
I used this last year and like the glowy tan of it. Like any tanner you need to rub it in really really well. I only apply every few days (constant application makes you orange) and exfoliate every other day. I’ve also been spending time in the sun with SPF 30 on – despite sunscreen I find I always tan a little bit.
I’m the total opposite from you – I LOVE my pale skin. I think it’s gorgeous and ethereal and I try to keep it that way. I look much better with pale skin and have never been into all that silly tanning stuff (bed or cream or otherwise). I don’t love that I burn on a cloudy day, but its just incentive to use sunscreen all the time. Add to that my family’s history with skin cancer … yeah. I love my pale skin.
And don’t take this the wrong way, please don’t, but aren’t you working on accepting you? All of you? Including your skin tone? I say embrace it. Protect it, nurture it. Try to see it as a positive instead of a negative.
The more I read your blog, the more alike I realize we are. Another pale girl here! I never wear shorts because I hate my pale legs. But I’m better about accepting my paleness than I used to me. My motto is “I’d rather be pale today than have skin cancer in 10 years.” It’s just not worth it.
I am pale pale pale. I was just commenting to my dad that he’s tan already (drives his convertible with the top down) and it is well known in my family that my mom and brother tan easily. Me? I guess the tanning gene skipped me. It’s okay though, in truth I totally like my skin tone.
And I hear the dresses thing, I wish I could wear more dresses/skirts. But it’s always freezing in my classroom and I don’t do well when I’m cold… plus the whole shaving thing gets to me (I shower at night and I’m not down with being stubbling mid-day because of that). Blah.
While I agree with Sarah, I can completely understand wanting to get a little color now and then. It’s not that you see flaws in yourself, but you show me one person who accepts every detail about themself and I’ll show you a liar. I am very pale myself usually but I am also Italian so my pale is an olivey tone and I tan very easily.
I worked for a long time in the tanning industry so I know a thing or two about helping people who burn easily. If you are deathly afraid of tanning, the at home products are decent but can sometimes lead to a very unnatural orange that your skin normally would not produce on it’s own. If you are going to use those products, I would suggest Jergens or California Tan product lines.
If you want to go to a tanning salon, start at the HIGHEST level for the minimum amount of time and slowly work your way up to longer amounts of time. The highest level is not for people who are trying to get tan fast because it has really low levels of harmful UV rays and is intended for extending tans and avoiding burns. The lowest level is the cheapest but highest exposure to the harmful UV rays. Tanning is not an ends but more of a means to gradually exposing your skin to UV rays. That’s why people going on vacation tan before they go, so they’re skin is used to being exposed to the sun’s harsh rays and doesn’t burn as easily.
I hope this helped! And while I love a good pair of jeans, I will always pick a nice summer sun dress first if the weather (and my legs) are right!
I’m the same way. I’ve never tried tanning because I know it’ll just be pointless. I’ve heard the “mystic tan” spray on idea is pretty fantastic, though, so that might be a start. I was going to mention the glow lotion stuff, which worked food for me the one year I tried it, but kind of drove me mad with the having to wait for it to dry.
What works for me is to slather on the sunscreen and sit out for a half hour a few times a week. Then work up to an hour. Once you’ve got a little base on, you won’t burn just stepping out the door. I never actually get really tan, but I get tan for me, which is enough
Good luck with it!
I too am super pale with no hope of tanning – and have come to accept, if not embrace it. I think the glow lotion is the least expensive way to achieve a bit of color, but when I tried it I found I was simply slightly less pale – hardly worth the hassle. The spray tan method is the best, but a bit of a time and money investment to maintain. Having the trifecta of pale eyes, pale skin and naturally platinum hair, I’m on a three strikes plan that practically guarantees I could get skin cancer, so I make sure to wear sunscreen and have never tried a tanning bed. From what I’ve read, there really is no “safe” level of exposure to UV for someone like me. So I’ve just decided to be pale, wear what I want, and anyone offended by that can suck it. (Though kids can be vicious, so I don’t know how I’d feel if I had to spend time in front of them in a classroom…)
Oh! I am SOOOOOO pale. I don’t actually burn all that easily and I think it’s because the sun’s rays are just reflected off my blindingly white body. But I don’t tan either. And I have a lot of moles and freckles, so I am big on the sunscreen to boot. I’ve had the same problems with sunless tanner. There is, a really gross leg spray paint makeup that works well if you’re in a pinch, but I stopped using that too, because the chemicals scare me. I have just decided to go with the pale. I can’t really change it. But I do always spend a few weeks in spring feeling super naked when I switch over to skirts without tights and tank tops that show my arms in all their pasty glory.
SWEAR by Clarins Delicious Self Tanning Cream with Unsaponifiables of Cocoa… this is the stuff that ALL the fashion mags RAVE about — and they do for a reason! It’s so great!
First, you know how MOST tanning creams smell “funny” and not in a good way, this one doesn’t!
Second, it LOOKS super NATURAL! You won’t look ultra dark or anything, but definetly sun-kissed, glowy, and summery!
Now, the bad news, it’s kinda pricey – like $40 for a 4.4oz countainer… however, a little goes a long way AND for girls like me who mostly where pants/capri’s or skirts in the summer (no shorty shorts) I only use it were it counts, so that cuts down on some of the cost! You can get it at Macy’s/Nordstroms, seriously Amy! Try it out… it won’t turn you orange! It’s one of my TOP 3 favorite beauty things!!
OMG – Amy – I am pale pale, too! And I burn super-easily. I once went on a vacation on the Canary Islands with a few friends (after highschool graduation) and I pretty much spent the whole time in the shade with a baseball cap, shirt and shorts, because I could not stand the sun. I used sun blocker (SPF40+ or something) and still got burned on the first day! Ridiculous.
Besides, I have a lot of freckles and moles, so I try to stay out of the sun as much as possible.
I am using the Jergens Glow Moisturizer and while I love it as a moisturizer, I don’t really know/see if there is a big difference colorwise.
But I am really intrigued to try Gina’s suggestion. Sounds like THE solution for us.
I’m pale too! Like so pale my stomache could signal planes pale. When I attempt to tan, I burn and turn a nice shade of purple, peal, and then am off-white. I’ve been using the Jergens Glow stuff too . . . just to take the glare off of my whiteness . . . and I’ve been happy with it.
Oddly enough, there’s an orange patch on my ankle . . . weird.
I as well am pale. I actually say I’m more translucent on my legs then I am pale. For some reason my legs are tan repellent. It’s frustrating. Being a bigger girl with blinding white legs doesn’t mix well with skirts, so I went the spray tan route. It looked very natural and was super easy, and not that time consuming.
I believe I have used the same terms to describe my skin- blindingly, scary, pasty white. I’m a red-head, what can I say? I’ve not found any good remedy for said paleness, so mostly when I wear skirts or dresses I wear tights. (Makes me extra glad when tights are in.) Although, I haven’t tried many fake tanning methods. I think red-heads mostly look weird with tan skin, so I just don’t bother. Yeah, I’m not very helpful.
my sister and I call our pale skin “Puritan Chic” since we figure we inherited it from many, MANY generations of pale British ancestors
She, however, got the adorable red hair to go with it.
I don’t tan. EVER. Not since maybe sophomore year of high school. When one of my friends died from a form of skin cancer. That’s when I learned that all of my grandparents, and many of my aunts and uncles, have had forms of skin cancer putting me and my hyper pale self at a higher risk. Sorry to be Debbie Downer (wahn wahn)…but I just don’t think it’s worth it.
That said, I’ve used the Jergen’s moisturizer, but not for probably 5 years. I just embrace the pale!
Girl, you need to go Mystic. When I lived in Vegas, I rocked a gorgeous, glowing year-round St. Barts tan just from the sun exposure from walking back and forth to my car all day — and even though I’m the least vain woman who ever lived, I’ll admit, I kind of miss it sometimes.
A few months ago, for my blog, I bought a coupon for an airbrush tan, and although I assumed it would turn me into a JERSEY SHORANGE freak of nature, dude, it looked amazing. Amazing. And it lasted for two weeks!
Not to be that girl who’s all “check out my bloooog,” but if you’re interested, the post about my skepticism and subsequent awesome experience: http://notthatkindofgirlblog.wordpress.com/2010/01/14/tkog-who-has-no-tanlines-tmi-thursday-just-a-little/
On Saturday, I had that yard sale. It was pretty overcast. I got burned. I mean, actual ouchy regretful burned on my nose. SO UNCOOL. I’m very pale. I’ve just learned to live with it. Luckily, if I try hard enough, in the Summer, my legs will eventually tan by early August. Keep in mind I live in LA and it’s sunny starting in April and, yep, it takes that long. I always get at least one major burn every Summer, too. I’m just accustomed to it. I’ve never tried any sunless tanner because I’m not diligent enough, although I did tan in tanning beds back when I worked parttime at a tanning salon. I KNOW I KNOW. I HAVE NO BUSINESS WORKING IN A TANNING SALON. Clients would come in and take one look at me in all my pasty glory and be all like, “REALLY? *YOU’RE* going to sell me tans!?” And that was when I was tan! I mean, I TANNED. IN THE BEDS. They very same beds they were using with the very same bronzing lotions I forced them to buy! And the clients (who were UNGODLY LEATHERY BROWN) judged me.
Honestly, I’d rather be pretty French-girl pale than unholy alligator-skinned bronze. Just sayin’.
P.S. FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS!?!?! You should totally come visit me for their concert in May!!
OH, but the other thing is – I highlight my hair. Because otherwise it’s pretty much black (I’ll show you the underside next time I see you) and it makes me look goth and scary. The lighter hair balances out the skin. I also never ever ever ever ever ever ever (unless I’m going to a dark bar) wear dark make-up, because it makes me look like a corpse on Halloween. Check out picture of Kerri/Wishcake for make-up for fair people. She does a good job.
At the moment, I’m pretty pale, having not been anywhere near sun since last August. I tan okay, not BRILLIANTLY but I never even went anywhere warm until I was 25 so I blame that. My best tan is probably my current profile pic on my blog, I don’t think I’ll ever get any better than that! My sister however does not tan at all – weirdly though, she doesn’t really BURN either, which I find unbelievably weird – we used to lie out in the sun in our back garden as kids, wearing coconut oil (I know – bad!) and I would burn then tan and she just would do NOTHING at all – she just stayed white!
I definitely think the gradual self tanner is the best bet – much more reliable than proper fake tan!
OH MY.
Not being able to tan would’ve been annoying, especially with all those tropical beaches in the world all of us should visit. Maybe very, VERY strong sunblock? They never work on me maybe they work on you. Or we should trade skin, since I have a light tan but if I’m under the sun for long, It”ll get darker and not in a pretty way!
I’m also with Sarah up there. The whole world of tanning really confuses me.
I am very effected by marketing, so sometimes at work I’ll walk past the sunless tanners and have this moment of ‘ooh, I want that…’ but it always passes very quickly (unlike new shampoos, which I find myself lusting over for weeks).
People with tans can look beautiful, but mostly those who use unnatural ways to get that perfect tan end up looking fake and horrible to me. I say be happy with how you look, paleness and all!
Ha – I just wrote on my blog yesterday about how I was considering going to the tanning bed a few times before I leave for Europe in a few weeks and everyone told me NO and made me feel bad for even thinking that. I guess tanning is terrible for you, I know, I did it all the time in high schol too and, like you, I would start at 2-3 minutes and work my way up. I tanned for three months straight before my prom and I still wasn’t really “tan”.
Anyways, I picked up some Jergens Natural Glow body lotion yesterday and I’m going to start applying that. I’ve used it before and it actually works really well! You might want to consider trying it!
I have such a fear of skin cancer that I always apply sunblock before I go out in the sun. I’m not a fan of tanning beds or tanning lotion, although the self-tanners seem pretty safe but I just know I’d be all streaky and I’m too scared to even try it. Generally, I get super scary pale (like now) in the winter and then semi-tan the rest of the year. I tan fairly easily.
my aunt uses the lotion tanner stuff and loves it and it definitely looks natural. i don’t really have a tan issue, clearly, but i think pale is okay, there are colors that work better for that.
I think we must be kindred spirits. I mean, we’re both pale and we both have jean issues. Clearly 2 things in common makes us kindred spirits.
As for the whole pale thing. I’ve spent the last 3 years desperately clinging to the belief that pale is pretty and I think I’m actually starting to believe it. I think it’s one of those things where if you lie to yourself enough you’ll eventually believe. So, I say slap on that SPF 60 and keep reppin’ for team pale.
Ugh, I’m so pale too, it’s just not even funny! I use a sunless tanner maybe twice a week just to keep a little colour and I’ve been thinking about tanning too… but I just can’t quite bring myself to!
When I get my shoulder tattoo tanning is going to be strictly out, so I’m learning to love my porcelain look. As hard as it is sometimes, I’m just investing in tights for now so my pale little legs don’t scare anyone lol
I am pale whale too. Umm, not the whale..that just rhymed…lol. Moving along…
I wouldn’t be opposed to the spray tan though, but I’d only do it for a special occasion or something. I have also tried a Jergens lotion but I kind of suck at adding extra things to my daily regiment, soooo that didn’t work out too well.
I used to go tanning quite often, in fact, I even had a monthly plan. I stopped because it was too expensive, but I’d never really want to go again just because I would rather be pale than waste the money on it and/or get skin cancer or any other crazy thing you can get from tanning
Pale ftw.
I can’t believe you get emails like that. I must just bore the crazies, so they never write to me. Good thing, because I take everything personally.
Anyway, yeah, I’m pale. I did tan for a while senior year of high school and freshman year of college, and I looked better, but I never wanted to keep it up and now I’m pretty serious about protecting my skin. I’ve embraced the pale, but I have to admit that since I’ve started working out again, I’m a little embarrassed by my pasty legs. I’m just too lazy to do anything about it.
You’re preaching to the pasty choir, sister! LOL I’m naturally an albino, but I’ve had amazing luck with spray tanning. You can see the results of my tanning experiment in my Spring Break photo album on my Facebook. You should definitely give it a try!
I embrace my pale and fervently hope that my sheet of freckles will delude someone into thinking I have a tan from afar.
I am really pale too (including some freckles). I once went to a tanning salon and I got so burned, I am never ever doing that again. Basically, I have given up on getting tan. I have bought tanning moisturizer several times before but I am not consistent about using it and besides, how am I going to get that lotion evenly on my back. Anyways, I do tan slowly in the summer (I was quite tan – at least it was tan for me – while I lived in Spain) and I do not always get burned when outside. I just wish my legs got tanner – I don’t really wear short short pants in the summer (due to chubby thighs) so my legs stay super pale even when my arms don’t.
Oooh girl I wish I could help – I def tried self-tanner once in high school and it ended RULL poorly. Also, I’m Sicilian, so despite the fact that I get kind of pale in the winter, I tan like a champ.
I use the Loreal sublime bronze stuff and it works pretty decent. Sometimes I get some weird orange patches but for the most part it makes me look like I’m actually breathing as opposed to lying in a coffin
Hahaha you’re hilarious. I am as white as they come, with red hair and blue eyes, and I don’t have a lot of freckles to mask the whiteness. I haven’t tried tanner, and don’t think I ever will because it would be so unnatural and weird on me. But… I cover up with leggings! Then you’re good to go! Well, until summer hits. Then… tanner away!
Dresses and spray tans. Two of my favorite things.
I’m so over trying to NOT be white. I;m just crazywhite & it is what it is, & even though people think it;s disgusting & blinding, SO WHAT. I won’t have melanoma or wrinkles. SO THERE. Own it. <3
PS that hateful email A) is douchey, and B) makes no sense. “Wasteful”? What? Also… short people should wear whatever the eff they want. Just like everyone else.
I should really read through your comments here because I could use similar insight but instead I’m all I NEED TO POST MY COMMENT FIRST. so yeah.
First off all, people are assholes.
Second of all, I think dresses are pretty… if I started wearing them all the time though people would be all “the hell?” because I’m pretty much uniformed in jeans and tshirts and, you know, occasionally nice things too, because sometimes I have to be seen by clients.
Also? I am so pale that I practically glow. My legs have not seen sunlight in approximately six years, because they are SCARY white, and it’s really just a cycle that perpetuates itself. I can’t expose them to sun to GET color, because then they would be SEEN. I can’t let them be SEEN because they have no COLOR.
The most daring I get is capris. And those hardly count. And I do have some skirts, yes… but with the Second Coming of leggings, I shall never have to fear showing my legs. Before the leggings thing, though, I wore my “hooker boots” which, you know. Knee high black boots. Whatever, they’re classy. Very little skin ever gets seen.
I have heard that if you go to like a professional spray-on tan place, it actually looks nice and works well. I am terrified of self-tanners because of precisely the Oompa-Loompa orange look… and I don’t do tanning beds, because why would I give myself skin cancer when really I’m just going to go from white to pink back to white and that hardly seems worth it.
On the bright side? Lack of UV exposure has helped me to maintain my youthful appearance. I hope this holds up when I am thirty… forty… beyond.
PS – Spell-check is telling me that Oompa-Loompa is not a word. WHAT.