Internet, I am not a stupid person. I promise. I mean, sure, we all have our moments of being absent-minded…but honestly, I’m a pretty neurotic person, meaning that I tend to have my mind and stuff together most of the time. That’s partly why this story is ever so traumatic for me.
It was early Friday morning, and I was busy getting ready for work. I was exhausted from a very long week, but so excited: it was my last day before a two-week Spring Break! We have a bit of a Crystal Light addiction in this house, so I was making a new jug of it for Andrew to have when he got up, and a turkey sandwich for my lunch. At the last second, I decided to make an egg to put on some bread for a quick breakfast. I cracked the egg into a skillet, turned on the burner and went about my business. All seemed fine and good.
Before I knew it, the entire kitchen smelled terribly. I couldn’t figure out what the heck smelled so disgusting, like plastic and fire and melting. It was awful. I turned around and saw smoke coming out from under the pan. I turned off the burner and lifted up the pan, and what did I see?
poor little black jack...
Why yes, that IS MY CELLPHONE.
I want to know: who is so stupid that they leave their cell phone on a burner? And then, it’s not like I accidentally turned on the wrong burner or anything that would be semi-reasonable. No, I put the pan down on top of the phone, without noticing that it was off-kilter and then turned on the heat.
Needless to say, I felt incredibly stupid, but I was reminded shortly after that despite this little mishap, I am not the dumbest person on earth.
After crying and having a total meltdown (get it?!) I headed to work. Since I didn’t get to finish making my egg and toast, I decided to stop at Starbucks. I ordered my Skinny Vanilla Latte and a bagel.
“Do you want your bagel toasted?” the girl asked.
“Please, that’d be great!” I said.
The girl looked at me like I was speaking a different language.
“Huh?”
“That’d be great!” I said again.
“Soooo…yes, you want it toasted?” she said, still looking lost.
“Yessss…,” I said, nodding emphatically for good measure.
“Sorry! I was confused by all of the big words!” she said, half-giggling, half-irritated.
At this moment, I stopped feeling dumb, thanked my lucky stars for cell phone insurance and held my head high.
Copyright © 2012
You and I must have been separated at birth. Or maybe we share a brain. That would explain the occasional lack of function.
Oh my goodness – I’ve never seen a melted cell phone before! Um, maybe you were up a little too early to be dealing with major kitchen appliances?
I’m glad you can get a new phone soon! I am always turning on the wrong burner, too, which is scary. And hooray on your new site!
that’s hilarious. i had a stupid starbucks moment recently, too. the sign on the door said, “sorry, we cannot serve any caffeinated espresso beverages today.” uhhh… ok… what CAN you serve? $4 drip coffee? great. i’ll pass.
Hey Amy – Thanks for the invite, now I have something new to read on my lunch break, yay! Sorry about your cell. I wish that would happen to my cell as it is one of those models from the 80s and I’m embarrassed to use it in public.
http://www.gsmserver.com/articles/future_img/new_cell_phone.jpg
Unfortunately, I am too much of a cheap ass to buy myself a proper phone. Next month I’m eligible for a free one so I’m waiting till then. TMI?
[...] 14) I learned a few handy tricks: tea tree oil solves all problems, there is special tape you can use to “hem” your pants (key for a shorty like me) and not to leave your cell phone on a burner. [...]