July 20th, 2010

Start Fresh Summer: Interview With Kyla Roma!

I feel really fortunate to consider Kyla not just a blog role model, but one of my blog BFF’s.  I first fell in love with her lovely writing, a mix of design and honest stories, and then came to know the girl behind the blog, and she really is lovely, through and through.  Kyla is wise, kindhearted and determined.  She’s also been through quite a few changes in the past year or so, making her a perfect person to ask about how to start fresh.
Read on!
You declared last summer your Summer Of Starting Over.  Can you talk a little about how that came about, what you learned and/or gained from it and how it changed you?
The Summer of Starting Over was a series I started on my blog that followed me as I worked through leaving the entertainment industry and figuring out what my new path was going to be.
I had been working in an intense marketing position in music- I loved the creative workplace, but there were challenging personalities and putting in a lot of time on top of the work day was a fact of life. I’d been working in theatre and film since I was in high school and that life had started to lose its appeal after lots of time spent backstage and in green rooms. I got to a place where I had to decide if working all the time and going to shows was going to be my lifestyle, or if I wanted something else.
At the end of it I decided to dream up something different for myself. I enrolled in classes, took a really different job & started digging into my passions. The best thing I gained from it was defining myself by my interests rather than by my job.
You seem to be incredibly confident, and I know that confidence is hard-won.  Can you talk a little bit about developing that unshakeable confidence?
I changed schools a lot when I was growing up, and I had to work through a panic disorder when I was in my late teens so my confidence isn’t something that came easily to me. I think it comes from constantly having to make new friends when I was changing schools, I learned how to get to know people and convey who I am quickly. When you’re always the new kid, it’s a survival thing, but it’s a great life skill.
In my day to day life I never think about being confident but I always try to be kind and positive. Online and offline I surround myself with people who inspire and encourage me, and I try to inspire and encourage them back. It makes the world feel friendlier, and taking risks isn’t as hard when you have a positive mindset and feel supported.
Your life is changing in regards to profession.  How did you figure out what it was you wanted to do?  What did you do with that understanding to lead you to where you’re at today?  How did you go from vision to action?
I figured out what I wanted to do by following my passion. I’ve been writing, designing, and making things since I can remember, but my work has never really engaged those skills. After working in all kinds of offices and feeling out of step in all of them, even in a non-traditional industry like entertainment, my husband finally pulled me aside and asked if maybe a traditional job just isn’t going to work for me.
After I realized that might be the case (and that it wasn’t the end of the world!) moving to action has been really natural. Instead of trying to force myself to be happy in a situation that’s not working, I’m  building a life where my work is something that I love. I think it’s about dreaming big, and not being afraid to try things. It takes a lot of time and work, but my happiness is worth fighting for.
What advice would you give to someone who’s in the process of starting over?  What concrete steps would you urge them to take?
It can feel really overwhelming, but take it a piece at a time and work through it with determination and passion – this is the one life you get! It’s not a contest or a race, and you’re not supposed to be born knowing exactly what direction (or job posting) your happiness lies in, it’s hard for almost everyone, and that means you’re not alone. Keep yourself positive and curious, and if you’re having trouble seeing a clear direction for yourself ask your friends and family for help- they might see things about you that you’ve missed.
And watch old movies. They always end with everything falling into place in the last scene, and when things in your life aren’t neat it helps to feel like maybe you’re just waiting for Act Three to start.
A huge thanks to Kyla for sharing her wisdom with us!  Isn’t she amazing?


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