via THXTHXTHX
On Friday night, my school district posted the official list of who was going to be laid off for next year. As I waited anxiously for the PDF to download and started scanning, I knew already: I would see a tiny X in the column marked “laid off.” I’m an intuitive person. I’m also a realist and truly, the budget in this state and in my district are nothing short of a hot mess. I was not surprised. I told Andrew, called my parents and started thinking.
I let my mind wander a bit, and woke up bright and early Saturday morning, unable to sleep anymore. I drafted a short list I aptly titled, “Things I Can Control/Do Right Now.” It’s ridiculously short, at least for now. I shed a few tears. But then, I got ready to move on.
I have three more weeks of teaching, two more paychecks and then, the great unknown. I would be lying if I said that I was completely heartbroken. Sure, I’m sad, scared and unsure of what could happen. But, I’m also hopeful that this could lead to something new, something different and something better. Over the past few months of waiting and wondering if this would be my fate, I’ve done a lot of writing, a lot of thinking, a lot of quiet. I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want my life to look and feel like, and I’m confident that with a lot of patience, work and some luck, I’ll be able to construct a life I’m thrilled to be living.
There’s a small chance that all of this will change, that my district will resolve the issues in their budget and I’ll be called back to a job. But, I’m also ready to accept that I may not be. And I mean it when I say it: that’s okay.
I love being a teacher. It’s been the defining thing in my life for the past three years. It’s been my biggest joy, my biggest struggle, my biggest everything. I’ve been part of a club, part of a profession, part of a lifestyle. And I’ve loved it. Thankfully, I am also a daughter, a girlfriend, a friend, a sister, a writer, a blogger, a lover of social media, a girl. Teaching is part of me, but it’s not me. And hopefully, someday, it’ll be part of me again.
My life has fallen apart before — the literal bottom has come out from under me and I was left with absolutely nothing. I gathered the pieces eventually, without grace or joy and covered in fear. It’s time to do that again, this time with more strength, courage and wisdom, with a sense of humor and with so many lessons under my belt.
It’s time to use them. To turn this from uncertainty to possibility.
Game on.
Copyright © 2012
Wonderful possibilities are headed your way, friend! So proud of the way you’re choosing to see how this is going to open new doors for you. GOLD STAR! I will be cheering for you…xoxo
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What an inspiring post! I love the attitude you have with this – looking at it as an opportunity. I hope the best for your new adventure!
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I’m shaking my pom poms for you already miss =)
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Girl, you are handling this with much grace and style. I’m sorry about what happened. I know you’ll find something even better.
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Your attitude is inspiring and this perspective is beautiful. Game on, indeed
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I love this post, it’s so inspiring! I’ve never thought of looking at uncertainty as possibility before – wow.
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I’m sorry about your job, Amy. GOOD LUCK.
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Sorry about being laid off. I hope things work out better than you can imagine!
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I’m so sorry. But it’s so wonderful to hear how positive you are. And you are right to be positive. Like you said, this is going to lead to something new, something different, and something better!
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You will come out of this stronger than ever. Of this, I am sure.
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I didn’t know who I could be without teaching… but one year later I love my life! I can’t wait to see what you will do next!
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Hey lady,
I’m so, so sorry this has happened to you. The state of California is in a royal mess and I’m pissed that you’re one of the casualties.
That being said, practically speaking, please let me know if you need any insight/advice/etc. about collecting unemployment. I’m practically an expert! Haha, that sounds bad, doesn’t it? But seriously, they do all the can to NOT pay you what is rightfully yours, so let me know if you have any questions.
In the meantime, I know things will work out for you…They always do. That sounds lame, but man is it true!
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So sorry! I used to teach in CA too…loved teaching but have moved on to new things… Wishing you the best…
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I know you will do amazing things with this opportunity. And while you’re busy figuring it all out, you’ve got a ton of cheerleaders here rooting you on!
P.S. Vegas in 11 days!
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AS rough as this is, there is a silver lining in all of it. It may take a moment or two to become tangible but it is there!
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As a former teacher, I feel your pain. I’m sorry that this has happened to you, but it’s not the end. There are more schools other there and more kids to teach. They need a teacher like you.
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“It’s time to do that again, this time with more strength, courage and wisdom, with a sense of humor and with so many lessons under my belt.”
I truly believe the sense of humor is one’s greatest weapon.
Those other things aren’t half bad, either. You will be Just Fine, lady friend. And we’re all rooting for you!
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I think one of the biggest challenges when facing adversity is turning it into an opportunity. I have no doubt you’ll figure something out to make your life even better than it was before.
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You’re so strong & so full of grace – you will make it through this. It may not be roses all the way through (or even most of the way through), but happiness is a way of travel, not a destination. And you’re going to come out stronger for it. And hopefully even happier, too. <3
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“I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want my life to look and feel like, and I’m confident that with a lot of patience, work and some luck, I’ll be able to construct a life I’m thrilled to be living.”
I embarked on a similar journey a mere 18 months ago. I am astounded by how my life has expanded and evolved into something that makes me a whole lot happier.
I can’t wait to read about your journey.
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I love the way that you’re looking at this. The universe has a funny way of working out – I have loads of faith in that. I feel like something amazing and miraculous is about to happen for you!
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Woah.
1) Sorry. But I also believe the universe waited until just now to do this for you. Bigger things are coming, stay open and follow if it tugs at you.
2) today was an inspirational day. You just threw it over the top with your blog. Thank you for finding me.
jess
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I think you’re going to be fine, Amy. You are an amazing person and a beautiful writer. It sucks that you’ll lose your job now but I’m excited to see what the future holds for you! Rock on, girl!
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First of all, I’m so sorry. Second of all, your attitude toward this is amazing. It just goes to show that you’re going to be fine, no matter what happens. Change is the only constant, right?
BEST OF LUCK!! xoxo
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I just loved this post Amy! I’m sorry about your situation and you will for sure find something else amazing, I am sure <3
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I am so sorry to hear about this. Really. I know great things are coming up for you and this is just a bump in a road. I’m sure you’ve heard this all before but I really feel this for you. And NEXT WEEK I get to hug you in person!
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You’ve already handled this so much better than I ever would.
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I’m so proud of you for looking at this whole situation with such optimism and hope.
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You handled it so well. I feel like kicking them though, because you’re a great teacher and they should have kept you but you probably get a better offer in the future. I’m sure you will get them. *hug*
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I’m a little shocked that they let you find out by publishing a list… seems harsh. And I’m so sorry that had to happen, but I hope it all works out for you. In fact, I’m sure it will!
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Wow, I’m enjoying looking around your lovely blog and reading up on your great life list . . . and then this. I’m sorry for the huge switcharoo, but it sounds like you are facing the upcoming changes with a great attitude and lots of support. Best of luck to you!
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I’m really sorry to hear this but I think you are handling it exceptionally well! You’re right, this is opening up new doors and possibilities for you and I have a feeling you are going to excel!
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