One year ago, I made the decision to go back to teaching, after being laid off and taking another job. In some ways, it was a difficult choice, but in other ways, it was the easiest decision I’ve ever made. As much as I loved my old job, being a teacher just felt like the right thing, the thing I wanted most in the world. And so I went back.
I wish I could say that I returned to the classroom last November and everything was perfect and magical. That would be a lie. In fact, last year was easily the most difficult year I’ve had in the classroom.
When we “follow our dreams” it seems like it should be easy—that the clouds should part and obstacles should dissolve and the world should bow down because we are doing what our heart wants. It seems so easy to put something on a list or to blog about it and feel like things should fall into place simply because we want it so badly.
My return to teaching taught me that it isn’t always that easy. Sometimes, you have to keep working at things you want, even when they’re not as magical as you think or hope they will be. Last year, there were so many days when I questioned myself: why did I decide I wanted to be in a room full of adolescents again? Was I even good at this teaching thing? No, really? WHY?
But I kept going. And while it’s unlikely that I’ll ever reflect on that year as my personal best, I will forever think of it as the school year that taught me that I really wanted—almost needed—to be a teacher, and that even though decisions that feel so right seem like they should be easy, sometimes you just have to muddle through to get to what you want.
The good news? This year is just plain awesome and has made all that hanging on beyond worth it.
I’m so glad I kept going.
Have you ever followed your heart and had it go awry? Did you keep going?
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To get to be where I am today has been one hell of a struggle, I’m not going to deny it and there were so many roadblocks. But I wouldn’t be as capable of doing what I do if it had been easy.
Yes! Actually right now!
After moving to San Diego one month ago today, I’ve had moments I’ve thought, “Screw this. I’m packing up and going back to the Bay.” But, I know with big life changes there are bound to be challenges and adjustments.
I hope a year from now I look back like you and say, “that was a great decision!”
Congrats, Amy!
My mom always says you will know you are on the right path if something takes lots of effort but not lots of struggle. It’s a fine line, I think but it sounds like you are kicking ass with teaching and that the effort is worthwhile.
Everything good is worth putting in some effort and trying hard. When I start to feel like I’m really struggling, then I reevaluate what I’m doing and why…and sometimes change my path to one where my hard work bears some fruit.
[...] Amy at Just a Titch has a post up that literally took my breath away. She talks about how she went back to teaching because it was the thing she knew she needed to do [...]
Ha. Remember how I followed my heart to that new job & then hated it & had a lot of panic attacks & quit after three months & then moved home with my mom & no job? Right, that.
You’re learning so much in your return to teaching. it’s a joy to watch you grow & change. Thanks for always being an inspiration, even when times are tough.
I LOVED this post. It’s so true and I’m going through the same thing. I totally needed to read this today – that someone else came out better on the other side. Thank you for sharing!
I thought I was following my heart 2 years ago when I changed companies. I had done a ton of research and thought I was going to love the job. The thing is, I was excited about the company I was going to be working for, but the work was going to be kind of similar to waht I was doing before, and I wasn’t passionate about that line of work. But I thought I would be passionate about it at a company I was VERY passionate about. So not the case. So I had to back track and go back to my previous employer, start in a new job that was really beneath my abilities… It was scary because I took a massive pay cut, but i knew in my heart that I had to get my foot back in the door. And then it all worked out and I found my current awesome job in January and the rest, as they say is history!
so glad you kept going too, you seriously seem like one of the best teachers ever. your students are quite lucky to have you
I must steal words from this post to write lyrics for a song. I hope you’re okay with that. And that’s a loaded comment if I’m being unclear about answering the question from this post.
[...] Amy’s thoughts on teaching, one year on. [...]
[...] Amy asks: Have you ever followed your heart and had it go awry? [...]
I think this always happens. Especially with things that we really, really want. It definitely happened to me when I first started teaching, even though I really wanted it… or maybe it just happens with teaching, haha.
YAY. here is to this year. Hope it brings you amazing things.