The thing about being single for any period of time is that dating has to happen, right? Like, friends and family cannot help but mention everyone in the world that you might hit it off with. Sometimes, it’s a good thing, but most times, it’s kind of a mess, am I right? Well, when I was single a few years ago, I had one friend who was absolutely OBSESSIVE about hooking me up with the perfect guy. We’re not friends anymore, so I can say this now: the girl had the worst taste in who I should date. THE ABSOLUTE WORST.
This one could actually be my favorite, because this guy was clearly so weird and rude and awful in general. My friend had some people over, and apparently, this guy was a friend of her boyfriend’s and he thought I was cute (I have NO recollection of meeting him, so…) and got my email address.
Via email, this guy was hilarious. He asked good questions, made me laugh and seemed incredibly intelligent. One of the funniest emails he sent me was a top ten list of things that suck about dating, before asking me to meet him for a beer at one of my favorite bars. I was really excited, because he seemed so funny. He definitely wasn’t the cutest guy ever, but I love people who are funny and figured if anyone could make me laugh out loud over email couldn’t be too terrible.
I arrived at the bar that night in a cute outfit, and found him sitting outside with a beer in front of him. I grabbed a framboise and joined him.
And then, he just sat there.
I TRIED. Seriously. I like to think I’m fairly easy to talk to: I like hearing about other people, I ask the “good questions” and make fun of myself and I am genuinely, really, truly interested in what you have to say. My time with this guy was no different. I asked him questions about a family event he’d mentioned, his job, his life. I prattled on about the weather. I DID MY BEST. Really. I kept waiting. How could this guy, who was so funny via email, be such a complete dud?
Thankfully, the people next to us were having a very juicy conversation about how one man was cheating on his girlfriend and trying to break it off. One of my least-appealing characteristics is the fact that I absolutely love listening to other people’s conversations. I know, I know, I’m going to hell for being a notorious eavesdropper, but I don’t care. I sipped my drink and listened intently, and finally, 10 minutes later, my date noticed that I’d stopped peppering him with questions.
“You like listening to other people’s conversations, huh?” he grunted.
“Oh, yeah…um, you know…anything that’s interesting or funny or awkward. It’s bad, I know…I just…”
He looked at me for a second.
“Awkward conversations?”
I nodded.
“Like this one?”
AND THEN? HE CHUGGED HIS BEER, SLAMMED IT DOWN AND WALKED OUT OF THE BAR. No, I am not kidding.
No goodbye, no nothing. Just chugging of beer, and then out.
The kicker?
He totally kept emailing me.
We didn’t go out again.
I KNOW.
Copyright © 2012
Wait, he KEPT EMAILING? After an exit like that? (Not to mention a “conversation” like that!) Dude, I mean, I know some people don’t have that filter or whatever that stops them from being rude, but that was extreme. (Maybe he forgot to take his rudeness pills, as in “PS I love You”?)
Also, I’m totally impressed that you know how to make good conversation, as I most certainly do not. How does one attain this skill, or is it innate?
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I’ve been single for over a year now.. and I absolutely can’t stand it. Dating is a joke… nobody really dates anymore. It’s like a job interviews of who you would and would not sleep with (okay maybe that’s just what I’m running into, but still.)
I work nights, by myself, and generally have zero human interaction with new people. So I chat a lot. You also can’t find normal people on dating sites.. I swear.
Just ask the cross dresser I met. Yup… a cross dresser.
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um. i do not like this man. i am SO GLAD to hear that you never went out again. ew gross, rudeness. grrr.
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bahahahaha
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I find this an incredibly awesome story and it especially makes me happy thinking about those people that were having that juicy conversation sitting beside you. How did they react? Did they even notice?
Despite how awesome this is, I really am sorry it happened to you. No one deserves that!
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You already know my bad date story. Show tunes, anyone???
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That is just…bizarre. I hope you never run into him again!
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Hahaha. I can so relate to this. I’ve been single for a year, and my boss recently set me up. We went on two dates, the last one being a week ago. Yesterday his facebook status was a reference to his girlfriend. Yeah, girlfriend. That’s ok though, he told me he wasn’t a “music person”, it never would have worked out!
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Hahahaha. That is too funny. I can’t believe that actually happened to you.
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What!? Are you sure that the guy you met was the same one you emailed? I know that sounds odd, but what if you sat down at the wrong table or something? Or he sent in a doppleganger because really he was this unattractive dude who was terrified to meet a pretty girl?
Guys are so weird.
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hahaha… whaaaat!? some guys are just ridiculous.
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When I first started reading this post, I thought, “Ok, maybe this guy was just shy, or nervous. I mean, he was a hoot over email and now he’s nervous about living up to it in person, and it’s awkward.” That’s forgiveable. But the exit sounds downright ANGRY. Like, does he have a mood disorder or something? It sounded like he was blaming you for wasting his time. Why would he keep emailing?? Did he ever apologize?
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1. What a WEIRDO.
2. I love framboise – it’s the perfect blend of girly mixed drink and malty beer. Plus, some bars serve it in a tall champagne-like flute, which makes me feel like I’m drinking a Kir Royale. (i.e. super sophisticated and elegant, duh.)
3. Listening to others’ conversations is awesome. I am always a little appalled by what people will say when perfect strangers are within earshot.
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Are you still emailing with him?
Ok, seriously, this is the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard…. I also first thought that he might just be shy in person and much more open and funny behind the computer screen, but then I don’t understand his exit. Just walking out on you? RUDE.
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Dude, that’s totally ridic. Amazingly ridic. It’s funny, I never get set up! Sadly, my arsenal of awkward dating stories is at an all time low. You know life has gotten boring when you’re hoping for some drama
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That is ridiculous!!!! And really funny in hindsight, but I’m sure it was super uncomfortable then!!!
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I almost just had to replace my keyboard again because I nearly huffed my Diet Coke through my nose while reading this.
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I almost laughed out loud at this. Not to laugh at your misfortune, but just… what. the. heck. Seriously, people are amazing.
I, too, have blogged my worst date, though mine involved vomiting (him, not me) and an incessant Borat imitation: http://www.suburbansweetheart.com/2009/07/tmi-thursday-worst-date-ever-beat-this.html
Dating is the worst.
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Um, WHAT. Wow. I’m sure it wasn’t that funny when it happened, but that is quite possibly the best worst date story ever. Wow. Just…WOW.
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OH my gosh, that is insane!! I want to know what the follow-up emails said. Did he ever explain??
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Are you KIDDING me? People actually actually actually act like that?
Also. For real, I LOVE listening to other people’s conversations. And I hate that I love it, but I love. it.
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ummm… wow.
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Haaaaaaaaaaaaah! This was hilarious. What a douche!
I was just saying the other day that I have never been on a real date, like meeting or whatever for the first time. Going on a “date” has always been going with a long-term boyfriend. I suck.
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Oh my god, I think you win the prize!
I am a big eavesdropper too – not because I’m a crazy stalker, I just like to listen. It’s amazing what you can learn.. and the stories you can hear, hehe.
I am sad, and don’t have any horror stories.
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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Amy. Amy said: New Blog Post: My Worst Bad Date Ever: The thing about being single for any period of time is that dating has to h… http://bit.ly/aLY8Wq [...]
HAHA- I have no words for this. Which I guess is actually pretty appropriate…
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It’s bad enough that he chugged his beer and peaced the hell out. But then to keep emailing you? WTF. Self-awareness. He does not haz it.
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Wow! What a nightmare! But, it’s also an awesome story! Thank you for sharing! <3
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I really don’t get it. People like that shouldn’t even bother!
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Reading this reminds me of your impersonation of this date. “LIKE THIS ONE!??!” ::Mimes chugging and slamming of beer:: Fucking. Hilarious. I die every time.
Also, I love Meghan’s comment about. “Um. I do not like this man.” That’s awesome.
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This post unintentionally made me incredibly grateful for my husband. Dating sucks, and I am so happy I don’t have to do it anymore. I just had a flashback of the worst date I’ve ever been on and shuddered. UGH.
The good news? You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince.
You can rejoice in the fact that this fat toad covered in warts wasn’t the one.
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THAT IS AWESOME!! I really laughed out loud, I love when I can actually put LOL and mean it.=) Sorry you had this craptaristic date. But good blog material. He emailed you after walking out?? Big..um well you know.=) Thanks for the comment on my blog. I have been good about reading and commenting on others blogs. Really bad about posting new stuff. So I will get some stuff. Lisa is great right? I heart that girl. She really is the way she seems. I have known her since we lived in San Antonio and worked together. Happy Sunday!!
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My worst date ever was a guy that called me drunk the night before our date trying to get me to come downtown and meet him out for a pub crawl. He called and called and didn’t want to take no for an answer, but I didn’t waiver, so he dejectedly accepted that our date should go on as planned the next day. I don’t know why I still went through with it after all the calls the night before but I figured everyone deserves a second chance….
So then he shows up and starts off with chiding me for not meeting up with him, talks about how drunk he got and how he doesn’t remember getting home. (he’s a cop, I should mention) From that point, I was done so when he wanted to talk politics, I didn’t hold back and went on as liberal a tirade as I could, to get his goat. We ARGUED the entire meal about President Bush, the war, the military, you name it. Then I insisted on paying for my food. I was so happy to be out of there, but he wanted to talk about our next date and how he’d never been challenged like that before, how he liked a girl that had some fight in her. OMG.
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