The scene: Me, driving to meet up with a friend. A woman rudely cuts me off and generally drives like an aggressive little so-and-so, causing me to throw up my hands, say words I’m not comfortable typing and generally air my frustrations audibly. At the next light, the woman pulls up beside me, and my windows are down.
Hijinks ensue.
WOMAN: WHAT THE **** IS YOUR PROBLEM, B*TCH?
ME: …
WOMAN: I SHOULDA RAN YOUR ASS OVER! kjlfkjfkdsjf;lskjfsdkljf;dsf! SSFLJAS:DLKJAS:LDKJASKFJ:! *MIDDLE FINGERS*
ME: I HOPE YOU HAVE A REALLY BAD DAY! *Commences hyperventilating*
I am a badass indeed.
Copyright © 2012
Once upon a time there was a generally mild-mannered young girl who lost her cool for just about EVERYTHING while driving. Flipping this person off, giving that one a dirty look, all and all just being foul and nasty and menacing.
Then one day she flipped off the wrong person. He was like a dude out of Deliverance in his big, rickety, rusty truck and started following her down the freeway – his bumper mere inches from hers. She decides to get off the freeway and Deliverance Dude continues his chase. Scared poo-less and trying to write down his license plate number (the car is vibrating from speed, she is panicked, the guy is so close to her bumper, and it’s backwards in the mirror – OH THE HORROR!) she decides to drive to the Police Station because she’s definitely not going home with Crazy behind her. And so she does. Deliverance Dude burns out down the street, the truck rocking as he disappears into the distance.
Girl has mild panic attack and imagines all the ways this guy could have killed her and then used her skull as a planter box.
Girl never flips off anyone again (well, mostly).
The End.
Moral of the Story – Let the other people be the Crazies!
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Oh geez, why are people so freakin insane? Sorry you had to deal with that. Road rage is so prevalent, so when I drive, I look ahead and if someone tries to talk to me, I ignore them.
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Oooh — I used to use my cool too until I ALSO had someone follow me around post-my-flipping-them-the-bird…and I ended the chase by driving into a police station as well. Was freaking scary! Scared ME straight…don’t flip people off anymore, no matter what they did!
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Oooh want to know scary scary… My pops was driving and a guy was weaving in and out of his lane, you know the kind of weaving that says “hey I am too busy playing with my phone to pay attention to driving” Pops Honks to get the guy to pay attention and not even like a long A-hole honk but a tap of the horn so that the guy doesn’t end up hitting my Dad.
Mr. Swerver PULLS A FREAKING GUN and points it at my Dad. Dad Slows way down to drop back behind the guy takes his plate number and calls the police and then got the hell away from Mr. Crazy.
Moral of the Story, stay away from stupid drivers, you never know just how crazy they are.
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Oh this is awful. I once accidentaly got into a road race because I revved my engine (the puny engine on my shitty 2-door cavelier) while stopped beside some gansta (kerchief headband and all) who was clearly driving his mom’s brand new impala. I was slightly afraid that he was gonna get out and beat me up (he looked seriously scary) but then I remembered he was driving his mom’s impala.
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eek! I hate how people go bat sh*t crazy driving! I have thrown my hands up in frustration at someone and then they did the same thing to me and flipped me off and cursed me out when its THEIR fault. people are morons.
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Yeah….I live in Baltimore, home of The Wire. We generally try not to piss anyone off on these tough streets of the hood. Thus sadly, much of my road rage gets internalized. Not good for the soul, I must say.
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I was minding my own business one evening when some guy cut be off just before a roundabout, so I flashed him and he carried on. Cue about half a mile down the road, he stops anf gets out – I’m still behind him, considering going past him to get home. But no, he walks over to me and asks me to wind my window down. I’m not easily threatened so I wound my windown down and he asks, “Did I clip your car?” and I was like, “No, why??” Apparently because I flashed he thought he’d done some damage, so I said to him I did it because he was driving like a maniac in a 30mph zone. He promptly told me to, “Mind your own business bitch” and walked away. Some people are a-holes!!
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I think I’d have turned to her and calmly said, “My my, if only your mother could see you now.” Talk about wringing her panties into a tighter bunch. hahaha. Glad the road rage ended with words.
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I used to work with the most elegant woman who, every time one of the students chucked a benny, would turn around and say “such a beautiful face and yet such ugle language. How sad.” and then glide off. I swear, she glided. I yearn to have such grace under fire. I’d have pooed my pants in your position.
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Lol that sounds like what I would’ve done. Or just died. Ha!
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Hello! Your blog was recommended to me by someone who commented on my New Friend Friday post. I am so glad she did! I have only had a chance to browse your blog, but this story alone made me laugh. Road rage can be both frustrating and entertaining sometimes.
Hope you have a great Friday!
http://larrysass.blogspot.com/2010/03/new-friend-friday-round-2.html
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Haha! Love it Amy! So funny and I would have totally done the same thing. Some people should be born with their tubes already tided… I pain for her poor offspring! ;(
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Oh no! That sounds awful. I hate confrontations of any type. Especially when you are actually in the right, and someone yells at you just because they are crazy/stupid.
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That chick sounds crazier than me… and you… and that’s saying something.
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I probably would have said the same thing to you; some people can be so UGH when they are out on the road. Don’t you wonder who taught them how to drive or their manners? Glad you wound up ok though!
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Oh my gosh, you’re so cute! I’m imagining you as a female Niles Crane…
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At least you came up with something to say!
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Oh, you told her.
Seriously, I probably would have started crying.
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I would probably start crying too.
Although, I’m terrified of driving (I haven’t in about three years) so I’d probably just panic and pull off the road and hyperventilate.
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Oh my gosh!! Amy, you are so funny!! A badass inDEED!!!!
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I like to wave at people when I know I’ve pissed them off. Works every time!
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ugh that is awful, i hate when people are that ridiculous. don’t worry, my response probably would have been like…”yeah well….your face!”
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Damn girl. I’m surprised you weren’t all, “I HOPE KARMA REALLY GETS YOU NEXT TIME FOR THIS!”
That woulda taught her.
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The nerve. What a batshit crazy person.
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Brilliant & polite.
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I would tell you what I would have done in that situation but I doubt it makes good legal sense to put those things into words.
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Hahha, love your response!! I love telling people, “WHAT? I’m deaf and didn’t understand you” so they know that their point didn’t get across to me.
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I would have frozen! At least you said something! I do what Steph Anne does too. =)
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