One of the first reactions I hear when people learn that I’m a middle school teacher is somewhere along the lines of, “Oh my goodness, you’re a saint! How do you do it?” and other kind words. In my opinion, my job is NOTHING compared to some awful jobs others hold. I’ve seen this post on a few other blogs recently, so I thought I’d list some jobs I could never, ever do:
- Anything medical. I don’t do barf. I don’t like blood or bodily fluids, and I am NOT the girl you want around when you have an emergency. I get all woozy and dizzy and weird and frantic. This means that Nurse Amy or Dr. Amy are an absolute impossibility.
- Waitress. Bad news: I don’t care if your food is too hot, too cold, with mustard or any other “issues.” I am not the most sympathetic person when it comes to minor issues like that, and having to deal with everyone’s CRAP about their food all day sounds like my own personal hell. Never, never, never.
- Bartender. I like bars, and I make a good drink. But I hate drunk guys, drunk girls and all the drama that happens at the bar. Having orders barked at me by drunk idiots sounds like pure torture. The only reason I might consider it–besides tips–would be so that I could put “Mixologist” on my resume.
- Truck driver. I am a NERVOUS DRIVER. I know that I’d have The Big Truck and that most people would fear me, but honestly, I’d be afraid I’d hit someone or someone stupid would run into me or cut me off or something awful. Plus, I’d be bored out of my gourd. My hour each way commute is enough for me…I can only belt out the “Glee” soundtrack so many times.
- Retail. Someday, I’ll write a blog post about my experiences working in retail, but suffice it to say that I’m not patient enough to deal with the general public while they shop. I don’t like rudeness, cleaning up the messes of others or people who treat cashiers as if they are idiots. Ergo, retail is not for me.
What jobs could you absolutely NOT handle doing?
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Re: #1 Have you ever done teaching for the younger grades? I’m assuming as a middle school teacher there is less barf/blood/etc. and if so the kids might be able to figure things out themselves. I certainly couldn’t do this one (or #2, #4 or #5) because of the same reasons. Anything food service my brain just won’t allow and operating any kind of heavy machinery (truck etc).
Oh yeah, I could never be a bus driver or truck driver. Especially in San Francisco, I have NO idea how they cope.
And a fist jab for a fellow ex-retail worker. I did 10 years. Worst. Ever. But, it was good motivation to get through college.
Is “mixologist” a shout out to me and my resume story??
I love reading your blog more and more everyday!
Personally, I loved retail (Bath & Body Works)!
There is one job I could never do, but I won’t say it here
Oh my gosh, too funny! Those are all the jobs I wouldn’t want to do! Not a good service-people person. I was an assistant manager of a store once and I wanted to stab a fork in my eye everytime I had to go to work.
I think I could handle being a waitress or working in retail. It wouldn’t be fun but I’m good with customers. I sympathize with them.
I do agree that I could never be a truck driver or work in the medical field. I don’t work well under pressure.
I agree with all of yours, but have one to add to the list.
6. Sales. I am not good at dressing, speaking, and acting to sell something. It just isn’t me. Unless it was something I was very very passionate about and believed in, I could never do sales!
I’m totally with you on the medical career crap. No FRIGGIN way. I refuse to clean up someones barf that is not DIRECTLY related to me. Retail BLOWS. Had a few experiences there myself. It’s all caddy bullshit. The only saving grace of the food industry is that it’s usually fast-paced and the time typically goes by quickly.
I totally agree with #2-#5. I don’t mind blood/guts/any of that stuff…so long as it isn’t mine. If other people are going to have their insides hanging out though, you know, I’d like to see it.
I think I could never be a firefighter. Clearly there’s the whole hot-guy-fireman thing, which is fantastic, and also I think it’s awesome that more girls are doing it because who doesn’t love when girls can do everything boys can? But for me? I think the outfit wouldn’t do much for me, I despise being hot, I’m a little claustrophobic, and I hate smelling like smoke. Seriously, even when I go to a bonfire, I take special care to make sure that whatever I’m wearing can all immediately go into the washing machine (i.e., no nice dry-clean-only coats) and wash my hair twice before I go to bed because I just hate that smell! I know, I know, there’s important saving lives and all that stuff, but if stuff’s on fire, I’m just not your girl.
so being as I’m currently unemployed I find myself dropping my bar more and more. the other day i had to email one of my best friends to ask her if I was above dealing cards at a gentlemen’s club. she reminded me that I was! haha
I have been in medical field and dealt with a lot of blood and urine. it’s not that bad. though mine was diabetic clinic so our exposure to crazy medical shit wasn’t very wide.
jobs I wouldn’t ever do: – stripper
- prostitute
sigh.
i want a job
I REALLY couldn’t be a middle school teacher. But most middle school teachers tell me they couldn’t be a pre-school teacher. But I think it all evens out in the end. And I totally couldn’t be a truck driver either because I fall asleep as soon as I get in the car. They wouldn’t like that.
When I worked in retail I used to think it should be the law of just Knowing How to be a Good Human Being to have to work in retail at least once. Customers are the WORST, and whichever genius came up with the idea of them “always being right” clearly worked in admin.
I quit my job once to go try something new and ended up in a “medical clinic” – which turned out to be a bloody PLASTIC SURGERY place where I had to pretty much go through everyone’s before and after photos, upsell the idea you had to change in order to be attractive, and work with a bunch of people who were 60% plastic. I left after three days!!