Some blogging lovelies and me…
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Last Monday, I posted about how much I love my fellow blogging girlfriends. In response, I received a few emails asking, in short, “How do you do that?”
I’m no expert, guys, but I do think I’ve learned a few things about how to form bonds via the internet—and I’d LOVE it if you jumped in on the comments to add your thoughts and feelings in the comments. Share away, friends!
Here’s what I’ve learned about making internet friends:
1. Read and comment! My first suggestion would be to check out the people that comment on your blog and the blogs you read. Blogrolls are another great way to find good blogs to follow. If you’re looking to make friends, I always suggest reading people who are similar to you in their age and interests, as well as people whose blogs you admire. Next, leave thoughtful comments and make sure you include an email address that you check frequently so that you can respond if/when the blogger does!
2. Initiate an email conversation. Everyone loves getting emails. Like a post? Have a question? Just want to tell a blogger you think they’re awesome? Send a brief email and open the door—it’s a great way to open a line of communication behind the scenes and start getting to know someone. I adore getting email from readers and love sending nice notes to bloggers I love—I can’t tell you how many of my friendships have sprung out of that simple gesture.
3. Graduate to chat. If someone’s on chat, that *usually* means they’re available. Say hi! Confession: I used to be petrified of chatting with people online, sure that I was going to bother someone. Over the past few years, I’ve learned that saying a quick hello on g-chat or Facebook is a good way to touch base and see if building a friendship is possible. Still too scary? Tweeting at someone is a great way to get their attention.
4. Cross the line into real-ish life. By that, I mean Facebook (or Google+!). A word of caution: some people actively choose to keep their Facebook pages blog-friend free, or are selective about who they add. Others are comfortable adding people they’ve interacted with a bunch, but not all blog friends. I fall somewhere in the middle: if it’s a reader I’ve come to know, follow on Twitter, and have a relationship with, I’m usually fine with it. But, like most things in life, it never hurts to reach out, be friendly and just ask.
5. Meet up! If you’re going to a new city, tweet that you’ll be visiting, or email people you know live in the area and ask if they’d like to meet for coffee or brunch. Nothing is more fun than putting names with faces!
6. Go easy. Internet friendships—like all friendships—take time to be built. Blogging BFF’s take time and energy. I’ve been most successful when I’ve followed the steps above, slowly. While you never know, and you might meet someone who you instantly love and adore, I’ve found that the best friendships develop over time. There’s no rush!
7. Know when to fold ‘em. Sadly, we won’t all be BFF. Sometimes, you’ll read a blog that sounds amazing, but when you get to know the person, you realize that they’re not your cup of tea—or vice versa. There are bloggers I’ve loved online, emailed with successfully and hung out with, only to find that we’re lacking that “spark” necessary to form a friendship. No hard feelings! Instead of forcing a friendship just because they seem cool, live near you, or seem interesting, I’d advice directing those energies elsewhere—the best thing about the internet is that there are PLENTY of bloggers in the sea.
How have you made friends online? What advice would you offer new (or seasoned!) bloggers hoping to make friends?
Copyright © 2012
I’d also suggest a love of dresses, a sassy attitude and love of good music for that spark
Aw, I’ve met them both, and you’ll have so much fun! They’re definitely good at that—I hope you guys have so much fun!
You’re definitely a fellow bloggy friendship expert
I’m glad you agree!
I’ve had a bad experience or two, also—I think sometimes it doesn’t always work out, but don’t let that deter you from trying again. You’ll find your people
I’ve emailed some popular bloggers and not heard back either—it can definitely be discouraging. I know how busy I am (and my blog is TINY!) so I try to be understanding and pursue other people if I feel like it’s not happening. Plus, even if someone doesn’t respond, I try to feel good about just being encouraging to someone.
In person can be tough, but that’s the beauty of the internet, I think: G-chat/Skype/whatever make it easy
Aw, you’re one of my best internet success stories, obviously <3
It definitely takes time to learn—I’m obviously not the only authority, but hopefully, it can help people find community, at least a little
It definitely helps break down those barriers
G-chat is my favorite!
ha! I read Ashley’s (Write to Reach) post first and commented on hers and basically posted your #7! Then I clicked over here. Cool! I’m new to Just a Titch. I like what I have seen so far and love that I happened to think of the same thing you blogged.
Hi!!
It’s easy to get intimidated by other bloggers – I was so terrified when I signed up for BiSC, like, what the hell am I doing, why would I possibly think that I am cool enough to hang out with these people, etc. But the Internet is full of warm fuzzies.
I’m terrible at gchat. Like almost worse than talking on the phone. I don’t know what my deal is.
I also don’t know what the point of this comment was. oops.
One of these days, I’m sitting next to you on Space Mountain again.
Thank you for this post! I’ve always felt awkward putting myself out there, but I’m gonna try it based on your suggestions! Starting, well, here!
No worries! I’m excited to see what you write up
You make it sound sooo easy.
I’m jealous of everyone who has managed to turning their blogging friends into real life friendships. I love that there are ppl out there are simply visiting strangers based in outer states/cities/countries. It all just sounds so … exciting. Anyway, most of the bloggers I follow, live in different countries entirely.
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i’ve been to several different blogging conferences and have met so many amazing bloggers who i tweet all the time. i’ve also met bloggers that i don’t hit it off with. at first it is disappointing but some friendships aren’t meant to be. i definitely encourage others to get in touch with their blog friends and tweeps. great post!
My blog’s only a few months old and I have exactly one comment so far. It’s really made me wonder about blogging (or my blog, to be specific, lol) and I’ve been hesitant to reach out. I’ve posted to quite a few, never to hear back from anyone but the one comment, and I’ve laid off due to discouragement. I need to get back out there, thanks for the inspiration!