Fat Tuesday, Week 2

So, hey, it’s Fat Tuesday.

Last week, I had a loss at my Weight Watchers meeting, which I was very, very, VERY excited about.  It wasn’t the biggest loss in the world; however, it was still a loss.  And that feels good.  I’m still a little wary of this whole process.  Sitting through a Weight Watchers meeting is quite an experience—all of these people are there for the same reason, but it’s still scary for me to speak up.  While I realize that writing about the fact that I value my privacy is ironic on A PUBLIC BLOG, it’s true.  There are some things I just don’t like talking about, and my complex emotions about food, the fact that I hate my body and need help losing weight are not things I love to discuss freely.  Still, the fact that there are other people in the world experiencing my exact struggle is immensely comforting to me.  And it helps.  Plus, being weighed in with someone else watching is super motivating. 

I think my biggest challenge currently is tracking food.  Not the actual tracking—thanks to the iPhone and constant internet access, I have plenty of access.  Still, it’s difficult to deal with recording every morsel that passes my lips.  Let’s all be real for a minute and say that it’s not so fun to have to cop to ice cream or a big brunch out.  The nice thing is that there’s room for that.  I’m trying to learn to be gentle with myself, to use my points wisely, and to help myself understand my cravings, both emotional and physical.  I’m going back to Bikram yoga starting tonight, something that challenges me physically and makes me feel a million times better emotionally.  Even better, Andrew is going to be joining me, which makes it even more fun.  I’m trying to get back into the habit of going to the gym at our apartment complex before I even sit down; that way, I don’t have time to get absorbed in blogs or TV or whatnot.  It makes  a huge difference if I just get it out of the way ASAP.

It’s hard work.  But it’s good work.

In closing, I stumbled upon Lexa’s blog over the weekend, and found it to be both hilarious, and incredibly inspirational to me.  Lexa lost 65 pounds with Weight Watchers, and chronicled a bit of her journey here. I love the fact that she is so honest here, and so real about how hard it was.  About the fact that working out still isn’t her favorite.  I love hearing that other people have done it—it makes me think that I can, too.  And even better?  Lexa still enjoys “naughty foods” by her own admission, something I know I’ll never be able to—or be able to WANT to—give up fully.

So, in a nutshell, I’m feeling good.  It’s going to be a long road; I know that—but I’m feeling pretty hopeful.