Being a blogger means that people always think you’re good at stuff involving communication. I confessed to a friend once that I was nervous to go to a gathering with people I’d never met, and she was all, “But you’ve got a blog and you’re great with people!”
I AM HIDING BEHIND A COMPUTER SCREEN. And while sure, I hope to meet many of you in Vegas or at varied blogging meet-ups, I always worry that I’m going to be terrible. Yes, I KNOW, it’s always fine, but man, I suffer from crippling anxiety.
When I was 13, I was addicted to my phone. I had my own phone line in my room because my friends and I spent hours on the phone. Ridiculous amounts of time were spent re-hashing all the drama of middle school and who was going out with who and the biggest punishment ever? PHONE RESTRICTION. Yes, my parents would totally ground me from my precious cordless. And at the time? That was pure torture of the highest degree.
Now? If someone told me I didn’t have to talk on the phone for a week, I’d be all, THANK GOD. Because I hate it. Seriously. I feel awkward and dumb and think my voice sounds weird and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST TEXT ME ALREADY.
Thankfully, blogging doesn’t involve a lot of phone calls.
But, friends, I do have a confession: I think I’m an awkward G-Chat person. I have anxiety about it. I seriously love having it, but sometimes, sweet, adorable friends are all, “G-Chat date!” and my palms start sweating immediately. And that makes typing difficult. I worry that I’m all boring or weird or talk about myself too much or say stupid things. And? G-CHAT SAVES YOUR HISTORY. Unless you mark it off the record, which makes it seem like we’re going to have sexy time or something, and that’s not really my bag. Maybe with some of you, but not usually. But then I envision you sharing our conversation all, “That Amy seems all cute and nice on her blog, but MAN, SHE SUCKS AT G-CHAT!” And then you just laugh, and have non-awkward G-Chat with people who have mastered the art of the instant messenger conversation.
I love the idea of talking with y’all online, I really do, but I’m scared! I mean, I talk to real life friends all the time, but they are already acutely aware of the insipid details of my life, so they don’t think I’m weird if I discuss my cat or my classroom or other boring stuff. But new friends? It’s like an internet first date.
So, two things: 1) Teach me your ways, Great G-Chat Friends 2) If you G-Chat with me or want to, DON’T JUDGE ME.
I am totally going to be ANNOYING AS HECK for the next two weeks, but seriously…have you voted in the 20SB Bootlegger Awards yet? Besides honoring some amazing bloggers, you can vote for me in either (or preferably BOTH!) the Most Sincere and Best New Blogger categories. Thanks for your support!
Copyright © 2012
I understand completely, I have a complete phobia of talking to and meeting people. I would LOVE to go to blogher, but seriously I’m too scared to meet anyone to go. I have an excuse though, I’m fat. LOL Seriously I’m fat and that makes me think no one would ever want to be my friend. I have a group of online friends I’ve known for 10 years, and I’m scared to meet them because I’m worried they would judge or not like me for it. What a freak!!
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I like this for its honesty. I’m so entirely completely the opposite. If I get the chance to meet someone, hang out with them for a minute or two, i have such faith that I can make a new friend. But I’m so scared of what people might take away from my writing…its silly. see you shortly? we can hash out fears over drinks.
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I understand what you mean – when I talk to friends I’ve met online through IM sometimes there is that silence and then the other person does that god awful thing… “Hello, are you there? Hello?” And then you’re like, “What do I talk about now?” Urgh, it’s making me sweat thinking about it. In “real life” I’m totally confident and will talk to anyone, but it’s the person hiding behind the computer screen that really scares me – maybe it’s because so many things you normally use to communicate with someone (body language, tone of voice) are missing? Hmm… food for thought. Great post!
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I’m the same way. But what scares me even more than G-chat is Skype. I’ve only done it once, with one of my best friends. Even that was awkward!
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I generally only skype with friends I know well who don’t mind complete awkwardness. Gchat I feel that I am awkward with that as well. One of the things about being a blogger is that you can write, edit, “hide behind the screen” etc but gchat and skype is real time which is sort of intimidating. I’ve always said that my medium is writing — as in sitting down and writing. Talking, speech giving, etc is not. I’ve attempted to vlog on more than one occasion but its always horribly awkward and strange so you will most likely never see one on my blog. But I do really enjoy gchats and skype. Add me on gchat, we can be completely awkward together, no judgments.
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You are wrong. I have proof. That is all.
xoxoxoxoxo
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You’re right about people assuming, that because you blog, that you’re a good communicator. I think the same falls for people who assume, that because you blog, the you’re a good writer. I’m not good at communicating or writing. So does that mean, I’m a good blogger? Circular logic, gotta love it!
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Ah, I just found your blog and I have to say that I am the same way about gchatting with people – esp other bloggers! I get all nervous and I’m afraid they’ll think I’m weird or boring or not very funny at all lol. I’m just happy to know that I’m not the only one!
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I’m the SAME WAY! I recently started BBMing (blackberry messenging) with a few of my fav bloggers and at first I was really nervous about it. It’s different than commenting on blogs or even emailing back and forth, it’s just so automatic and instant! Now I’m getting more used to it but with new people the idea still makes me a bit nervous
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I think I’ve already vibed with you about my extreme social anxiety/awkwardness, so, you know… I understand. Maybe we should practice GChatting together or something? At least until we’re ready for the public.
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I’m a sucky gchat date hahaha but feel free to hit me up any time.
Hope to see you tomorrow
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I can relate in some ways! I love gchatting & talking online but when it comes to meeting in person I get nervous because I’m deaf and can easily understand some people and have a hard time understanding some others. It just depends. I feel more comfortable with sign language.
Anyways, I just started reading your blog and from what I’ve read so far you’re an awesome & sweet gal that everyone would love to talk to!
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i absolutely hate talking on the phone, i seriously ignore a lot of phonecalls cos i know tht person will keep me on the phone for ages and i can’t deal but in my teens i spent 3hrs on a phonecall once!
g-chatting is like texting jst on the net…think of it that way.and by reading each others blogs we already hve some sort of history/background of each other so its a little less awkward!
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I just discovered your blog via the 20sb awards, but from the comments it seems like some of my favorites love you already so that’s always a good sign
I’m seriously the same way….all, “pleaseletthemlikemepleaseletthemlikeme”
And I’m terrified that they won’t, but that’s not stopping me from going to Vegas this year
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I’m EXACTLY THE SAME way!!
I’ve never G-chatted, Facebook chatted maybe once, when it first came out, and don’t even have MSN. I hate talking on the phone and instant messaging – I like being able to write emails, and think them out, and actually have time to figure out what I want to say without the clock ticking down to almost certain awkward silence/blurting out something stupid territory!!
And althoughI just can’t afford Vegas this year… this definitely factors into my decision a *teensy* bit :S
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LOL isn’t that ironic? I was just talking to Veronica about this. I used to spend HOURS on the phone, DAYS even. I remember talking to my first boyfriend until the sun would come up. It was an “issue” for me, how long I utilized our precious phone line.
Now, when my work line rings, I curse it and think CAN YOU NOT SHOOT ME AN EMAIL? Even when dear friends call my cell, I almost want to reach out and punchthemintheface because TEXT FOR PETE’S SAKE. So I can, you know, not have to actually focus completely and can multi-task without you realizing it.
I love G-Chat. Assuming that is code word for, like, Google IM. I have no idea. It could totally be code word for like, camming or something and here I am, rambling about how I love instant messenger. I think my biggest thing is folks always go, “Omgosh! You type just how you talk!” which.. if you read MY chat history.. essentially tells me I talk completely sporadically with absolute nonsense scattered throughout. AWESOME. THANKS.
Hrm. Now I want G-Chat friends…
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My parents took my phone away constantly. I just had an extension, but they would unplug it on the regular, and I’d go to make a VERY IMPORTANT CALL and get silence. Then I’d have to slink off to the kitchen to make the call in public. Horrendous. I’m with you now though–I despise the phone–and I too worry about the IRL impression I’m making at tweetups and other such events.
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I just discovered your blog through Emily Jane and as a person new to blogging I can totally relate to feeling a little apprehensive about the g-universe! Putting yourself out there is such an unnerving experience. I’m freaking out with every post I make and I really hope I’ll desensitize soon! I hope to gain much wisedom and ideas from other bloggers…thanks for sharing your thoughts
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I don’t know anyone who uses Google Chat. Is this wrong? *sweats* meanwhile I am exactly the same – I was all about the phone when I was a kid, but nowadays it’s just like *yawn* I’m so tired! Urgh is that someone calling me from the other room to go do something? SORRY I guess I better go. *hangs up and dies of relief*
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I will make a bigger ass of myself than you at Vegas. Just wait. That is my promise to you.
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I’ve never GChatted ever ever ever! I don’t think I would be awkward though … I’m a pretty talkative person. My problem is that I talk TOO much. Having said that, I do know how to shut up an listen.
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I am the EXACT same on the phone. I ignore all calls unless the contact is saved in my phone and refuse to check my voicemail until it’s all full. PANIC. Thank God I can do 90% of my job via the Internets.
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When we g-chat we can be super awkward together. And then it will go swimmingly.
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I have been chatting online w/ peeps since I was, like, 11? Maybe 12? So I am totally willing and able to teach you the ins and outs of internet chatting. I’m amblass@gmail.com on G-chat. Look me up sometime!
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I think that there are some things about blogging that are inherently awkward, and among the worst offenders are:
- video blogging
- live chat
- skype
And at the same time, it’s awkward for all parties- so it’s a level playing field! =)
I don’t gchat a lot, but when I do I have fun. And I’ve given up on communicating exactly who I am- I’ve decided that I like having some mystique
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I hate phones.
And everybody always hates that I never call them back.
Meh.
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