Andrew and I have been apart for the past five days. I haven’t mentioned this because a) I know that many of you endure separations that are significantly longer and for more serious reasons and b) because I was petrified that someone was going to come and KNIFE ME in the middle of the night. Seriously. I realize it’s an irrational fear, but still, I didn’t think that telling the Internet that I was HOME ALONE was the best plan in the world. At least not for my nerves.
I don’t think I’m alone when I say that sometimes, I fantasize about living alone again. I lived by myself for a year and a half, and while my studio apartment was no luxurious place to live and was in a terrible area, I absolutely loved it. Sometimes, I long for those days of having my pink-and-red girl pad, with just my stuff, my art supplies and books and life everywhere. I miss being completely free to do whatever I choose with my days and nights. I had roommates after living alone, which I really hated (not them persay, just having roomies!) and now have settled in with Andrew.
Still, the past five days have been really strange for me. I always get sad when Andrew leaves (though this is the first time we’ve been separated since moving in together), but I’m usually fine, happy even, to have some alone time. I’ve missed the typical things—cuddles and good night kisses, having dinner together, talking about our days. But it’s been the little things that I miss which have caught me off guard: the way Andrew closes the cupboards when I leave them open, putting my feet in his lap while we watch TV, the sound of his snoring as I try and sleep, his laugh. I’m in our house, my home; however, it doesn’t feel like home at all. Not without him around.
So today, at 2:45 am, the blue airport shuttle will come and get me and I’ll be flying to Illinois to join him and his family for the rest of my break. I’m so excited to hang out with his parents and sister, head to Chicago for the 20SB meet-up (WHICH YOU SHOULD COME TO!) and relax. Harry cat will be in good hands, as my friend Katy will be caring for him and the apartment, and I’ll be spending time playing board games, sleeping in, consuming way too much food and hanging out with Andrew, who makes anywhere feel like home.
I hope you had a wonderful Christmas. Posting will happen while I’m gone, but may be a bit sporadic while I enjoy the heck out of the Midwest!
Copyright © 2012
Have a great trip!!
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I love that W.S. Merwin quote. Seriously, love. It’s hard to be without your love but also a little time away can be sweetly refreshing…have a WONDERFUL trip. I read your tweets from this morning, poor girl! It can only get better, right?
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I’m glad I’m not the only one who only mentions separation once it’s over and done with. Usually it’s that I go to visit my mom while the husband’s at home, but I still don’t want people knowing my house is empty. (Paranoid? Or just worldly-wise? I hope we never know for sure.)
And if I knew you a little better or whatever, I would totally come stalk you in Chicago, as I’m only about fifteen minutes away from there.
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Have a great trip and I’m sure it’ll be GREAT to be reunited with Andrew again. The only time I lived alone was for about 5 months in 2008 and I was living in a dorm. (My roommate moved out.) It was GREAT and I loved it. But it’s nice living with somebody, plus it keeps me from becoming too much of a loner.
If I lived in Chicago (or near it), I would SO be coming to the meet-up. Have fun!
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What a wonderful quote…I can identify.
Let me know where you end up meeting…I’ll do my best to come and see you while you’re in town!
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Enjoy the midwest! We just got an insane amount of snow—be prepared for that. I wish I lived a bit closer to Chicago and I would attend one of these meet-ups sometime.
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Oh, I can totally relate! It’s funny, our first year together pre-moving in we only saw each other MAYBE twice a week because he was away with work every other weekend and working well into the evening. And I was fine! But since we moved in, any time he has to go away for a couple of days I’m just in an alien world – and I miss all the little things, too. I’m excited for you to go on what I’m sure will be an amazing trip, and hug your sweetie again!! Have fun (and I promise I will ONE day come to one of these meet-ups!)
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I never lived alone, I always wanted to but when I wanted to move out, Mister did too and it all just kind of came together. At the same time, I need my quiet & alone time, and I love being able to sneak away and rest up.
Mister used to work one week away, then two or three at home when he first had his job, and it was *so weird*. Now I’m better when he goes, but the first time he left and I did a grocery shop I ended up dropping a 24 of coke that exploded on me IN THE STORE, setting off the alarm at Walmart when I was leaving, and then breaking a pickle jar when I left.
We do the shopping before he leaves now lol
Enjoy the reunion! =)
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That’s a lovely quote. Enjoy the rest of your holiday and appreciate your ‘alone time’!
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Awwww. Have a great trip!!
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*delurking, delurking*
I fantasize about living alone all the time… mainly, because I never have completely lived on my own and sometimes it just sounds so wonderful to do whatever you please
But of course, if this would come true, I would miss my hubby terribly. Go figure!
Have a great time!
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