Recently, I was emailing with Kerri Anne, and we were discussing her desire to try out to be on the roller derby team in her town. Awhile back, I’d admitted my own secret aspirations of being a roller derby girl (SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!) and the reactions were…staggering. If you click on the link below, that comment from Lil Timmy? IS FROM MY DAD. Who still teases me about wanting to try out. Anyways, when Kerri Anne and I were chatting, I was lamenting the fact that I’m absolutely awful at sports. And by awful, I mean embarrassingly terrible—no ability AT ALL. It’s not for lack of trying—I had quite the sports career as a child.
I feel like I’m lacking some sort of sports gene. Honestly, I can think of few things I care about less. I’ve seen plenty of guys—and a few girls—I know get ALL SORTS OF ANGRY regarding a sports game. I just don’t get it. Maybe, if I understood how whether or not a team wins directly affects something in your life, I’d be on board. The same thing happens to me when I play sports. Win that softball game? Come in first in a race? Eh. I just…don’t care. I don’t know.
When I was six, my parents started me in soccer. Even now, I can recall my absolute FEAR of the ball. I didn’t want to get kicked. I didn’t want to run into other girls. I sure as hell didn’t want to run. What DID I want to do? You know, the important things in little girls soccer: tie the orange and yellow hairbows of my teammates, make daisy chains and run down the field holding hands with my teammates. I liked the orange slices we had for snack, and running under our parents arms when they formed a bridge at the end of the game. Other than that? I wanted nothing to do with soccer.
After ending that illustrious career on the soccer field, I decided to try basketball. I played for two years. I was terrible, perhaps even worse than soccer. Have you ever watched a kids sports team? You know how there’s always that one kid who sucks, but everyone pretends to really support and love them? Yeah, that was me. I scored ONE BASKET in TWO YEARS. In my defense, it was from outside the key, something I shrieked after the game.
To this day, my brother still enjoys teasing me by shouting, “I MADE A SHOT OUTSIDE THE KEY!”
I’m not gonna lie: my lack of athletic prowess is something that still bothers me. I mean, I wish I was capable of doing something like roller derby without dying. Hell, I’d settle for bocce ball. Backgammon. Whatever.
What do you wish you were better at?
Copyright © 2012
This will sound weird but I wish I was book smart. I don’t think I’m an idiot, I’m not too insecure, I am good at what I do and I am confident, but I was never a good test taker and therefore never a straight A student and looking back I wish I was in that camp. I could play sports though, jock.
I wish I was a better runner. I get too eager too quickly and end up giving myself horrible shin splints or blow out my knee. It’s annoying, because I really do love to run. I just…don’t do it that well.
SIGH.
This is funny, because I actually wish I were LESS competitive sometimes. I can’t get all into screaming at sports on television (usually), but put me on a field with a ball and all bets are off. In my old age (ha!), I’ve learned to put a check on some of the more appalling behaviors in which I used to engage, but I still really hate losing, and I’ve tried to take down more than one person in beer league softball.
I am so the same way. I am not competitive sports wise (give me a board game or jeopardy and it’s a different story) and I don’t get why people scream and curse at the tv when they’re watching sports. Why is it worth getting that angry over?
When I was little, I was in swimming, gymnastics, soccer, and ballet. I sucked at every single one of them and none lasted for very long.
A dear friend of mine is woefully uncoordinated. She is awkward and not very strong and has very little self confidence. She had a very bad auto accident years ago that left her in nearly constant pain and generally afraid to do much of anything for fear she would hurt herself more.
She decided one day that Roller Derby sounded fun (?!). And she tried out. With all her clumsiness, all her fear, and all her awkwardness, she is now on the A team for her city. She kicks ass. She does things she never thought she would be able to do and she loves it.
So I say, if you want to Derby, Derby. It’s not about sports, it’s about spirit and determination. Try out.
i never played sports either – i spent my life in dance (not really a transferable skill) but i wanted SO BADLY to play soccer! for no other reason than the oranges!! i still have dreams of my kids playing soccer some day so i can be the mom who shows up with the gallon bag of orange slices!
I would LOVE to be a roller derby girl too, wouldn’t that be amazing? I would need to learn to skate first but then…
I wish I was a better dancer, I stopped taking dance when I was little and then stopped going to bars when I was 19 and now I doubt that I could dance at all!
Which is a round about way of saying that if I can find classes in the summer, Mister and I are going to take swing dancing. He’s just so tiny though, I don’t want to crush him! We’ll see.
I also wish I was better at sports! It’s just an ability I’ve never quite had – the “sports” I did as a kid were limited to gymnastics and karate, and I stopped doing those at a young age. Ever since I’ve had almost a fear, I think of the competition or at failing, so I started playing kickball and have really enjoyed it!
Heck, do you have posts sitting ready in your draft folder? It’s 7 a.m., I just got to work and you have another post up. How do you do it?
I love sports – I’ve played all kinds of sports growing up. Softball and Tennis being my favorites.
I wish there was something I was outstandingly good at. I think I do a lot of things fairly decent, but I don’t think I have this ONE outstanding talent.
I would like to be better at swimming. Or to go back to my childhood and NOT give up on dancing and be a ballerina of sorts today. I miss dancing.
I’ve seen Roller Derby a few times and man, is it intense! I bet you could do it though, no problem!
I don’t get the emotional investment of watching sports either. I mean, really, is there anything that matters less than millionaires running around some kind of field/arena after each other? I am so lucky because my husband doesn’t like sports either! (!!!!!)
I wish I was good at math. I’m not even talking the trig/calculus/whatevercomesafterthat ridiculousness of it all. I just wish I could add easily, and subtract, and do the measurement calculations sans calculator to hang a picture on the wall. At least I challenge myself to try to figure simple problems out occasionally, but sometimes I feel like it takes me *forever*.
I used to be a natural at sports. But me and dance have never gotten along. I’m horrible – my friend’s MOM offered to help me. Now that’s just pathetic. And no matter who has offered to help, I just don’t get any better. My dreams of being a ballerina will most likely never be realized.
I fit the “jack of all trades, master of none” cliche. When it comes to sports I can do pretty much of all them, but none of them well. Right now I wish I was better at swimming, and unfortunately I know that if I stop skipping practice I would actually get better.
I gave up on team sports a long time ago. I’m usually the worst or very close to the worst on the team, even if it’s a beginner league, and I can’t stand being awful at something. I don’t need to rock it and be the best… but I would like to at least be average enough to be unremarkable. I don’t want to be remarkably *bad*. I joined a softball league once with my ex (before we were exes) because he’d been trying to get me to join a sports team with him “for fun.” I spent the entire season berating myself for holding the team back, dreading when it was my turn to go to bat, and rejoicing at the end of the night when I could go home and read. About halfway through the season I began mysteriously needing to “work late” or came down with “24 hour colds” on softball night. It wasn’t pretty.
So I can relate! It sounds like you do have some athletic inclinations though, they’re just not traditional sports. You like hot yoga, you want to do roller derby, you love to dance. Don’t try to force yourself to be someone you’re not – just do the things you’re actually interested in!
i wish i were better at following people on wp b/c after 5 months i still don’t know wth i am doing
in other news i wish i was better period at athletic endeavors
i mostly just look like a chubby idiot
I really wish I could sing. I’m horrible at it but I love karaoke.
Just being organized in general. I am the biggest SCATTERBRAIN on the face of the earth… and increasingly so as each year passes. Sigh.
I am also really terrible at sports, UNLESS they are horrendously violent. Field Hockey? I RULE.
I wish I was a better writer. A better runner (I have no stamina, and no patience to build it up). A better dancer (I can dance freestyle but can’t follow steps). A better actress.
My friend (and fellow blogger) Mich (http://cherrybombrocks.blogspot.com) has recently taken up roller derby and absolutely loves it – although she managed to hurt her ankle doing it and has to take a break for a few weeks. But if you want to do it, go for it!
i still think you should try out. my daughter was AWFUL at sports. she was the one picking flowers while everyone else was playing t-ball! and yet, she made the southern misfits roller derby team and absolutely loved it. if nothing else, it is great exercise!
xo
I may get my masculinity license revoked for this but… I don’t get sports either. I’ve always been a musician. It’s okay to not be into sports… right?
One thing I wish I could do better is the different programming languages for web development — though that’s job related, anything else I think is possible to pick up.
That said, I think you SHOULD go for derby!
So um apparently, I love you. And we have oodles in common other than Jackson. WHO KNEW THESE THINGS?!
I had the same soccer career. I hated the running, the pressure, the actual playing parts. I loved the matching shirts, the tall socks and hair ribbons. Good times.
Same with Dance Team. I had fun, but MORESO, I had a matching jacket.
Riding was fun, except I sucked balls at jumping (whaaaaat if I fell off?!?! I have a fear of um, everything sport-or-injury-esque) but I looooved to feed the horses carrots and sugar cubes.
I think I miss the point of sports, too. Like Super Bowl? Everyone is SOOOO riled up for the parties, which I would like, if maybe we all played a board game instead and chatted over chips and various dips.
Hrm. I think more so should have had a space. How sad for me.
I am TERRIBLE at losing. I think it has something to do with being the oldest child, or at least that’s what I’m telling myself.
Anyway, I was never one for team sports, so my parents put me in Tae Kwon Do, and I really thrived for 14 years. I do wish I had been put on a team sport and forced to adapt, but even now I definitely do NOT get pumped up about any pro sports. I love that I married a guy who doesn’t get into them either because, yeah…
Actually, being in a roller derby team sounds super fun. Sadly we have none here but I watch it on TV all the time
I’ve made my peace with not being good at sports, much less sport teams. I even failed at trying how to surf :p
Hahaha, this sounds like me! I only played one sport, ever, and that was volleyball my sophomore year, just for kicks. I enjoyed it–I got decent enough. But after the season was over I was pretty much over the whole thing. And I’ve especially never been into WATCHING sports, hahaha. There are about a million & more things I’d rather do than sit in front of the tv and watch a sports game (altough…I don’t mind going to live games, but that’s because I like the beer & hot dogs and people watching! Hehehe.)
I guess what I wish I was better at is guitar. I’ve owned a guitar (well, I’m on the third one, I think…I upgraded once, that new one got STOLEN and so I bought another) since I was 15 years old. I started playing when I was 15 years old. I learned a few chords when I was 15 years old….and I still know those same few chords. I’M ALMOST 25!!! I’ve really, really tried to get into it but I’m just not motivated to learn more stuff or practice every day. I’d like it if I could just be really good, but I’m just not. Haha! Oh well. At least my boyfriend plays, and he gets plenty of use out of it. Ahhh.
I am also the antithesis of athletic. My parents never let me play sports as a kid. I don’t know why, but I’m pretty sure I’m all sorts of screwed up because of it. What was that all about, Mom and Dad!?