My 26th birthday was amazing. I was totally spoiled to death by my family over the weekend, and then Andrew took over the festivities on the day of. He took me back to the restaurant where we recently had Date Night, and gave me an amazing gift: a membership to Fitness MD. Fitness MD is located in the town I grew up in, and is a super hardcore gym. Basically, they have a traditional gym, but they also have classes designed for people like me. And by people like me, I mean people with ZERO willpower or dedication. The classes are overseen by trainers, who push and guide you the entire time. If you don’t show up, they call or email you. They also give you a customized diet plan and have you track your food. Oh, and did I mention the fact that they weigh, measure, poke and prod you when you start and once a month thereafter to make sure you are being successful?
This, my friends, strikes fear into my heart. Weighing in front of someone else?! Having another soul know my measurements?! UGH. Even Andrew, the person privy to everything I do, will never, EVER know my weight. Or just how big my hips are.
Anyways, my friend Gina already goes to this gym, and so she took me with her to my first class. And let me just get this out there: IT KICKED MY ASS. Here’s what I looked like after:
I did it.
Can you see the sweat dripping off my face? And that anguished grimace? Wait ’til you hear what they did to me.
I arrived, and everyone was friendly and sweet. I was told that we’d be doing a “big lap.” I wasn’t aware that this meant a freaking HALF A MILE around the building. IN 95 DEGREE WEATHER. Listen, I don’t like to breathe in that weather. Run?! Are you high? I dragged my fat all around that building. I’m happy to say I ran a lot of it, but definitely had a long extended walk as well.
I got back inside, doing the ugly sucking of breath I do while I run and tried to conceal it in front of the entire class. Cute. I was told we’d be doing a series of upper body exercises. And no one told me that by “a series” they meant approximately 19 billion. There were hammer curls and skull crushers and push ups. Perhaps the most notable was the pull-up. Because Gina and I are girls, we could not even do one traditional pull up. Instead, we got to lay on the ground underneath a metal bar that was bent to look sort of like the bars you can do flips on—sort of like a giant un-stapled, staple. We were supposed to lay our feet out and with the help of our partner, pull ourselves up. In order to spot one another, we had to straddle our partner, face them, and put our hands on their low back to help them pull.
Basically, it looked like we were riding one another with some giant bar apparatus. HOT. Sweaty, hard-working girls now looking like we are humping each other.
A trainer came over and showed us a less compromising way to do this…just as our set was ending.
Thank god I was with a girlfriend I am comfortable with. It was definitely a good way to get broken in. After we finished set after set of arm exercises, I was silently cheering for myself, so happy that it was over. Then, they told me I had to run another BIG LAP. Really? Another half mile?
WHO IS PUNISHING ME AND WHY?
All kidding aside, it was a great experience. The hour and ten minutes flew by and I wasn’t bored whatsoever. My arms already feel like limp noodles, and taking off my sports bra was a total nightmare. It took so much effort to put both arms over my head. I’m really excited about this journey, because it gives me hope that I really will be able to DO IT this time. I’ve got a lot of support and I’m so grateful for Andrew giving me such a thoughtful gift.
And you can bet I’ll be back tonight, running that big lap and hopefully not straddling anyone else.
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—The semi-truck, stacked with logs that smell like cedar, will become unbundled and cause me to meet my untimely death as I drive down Highway 99.
—My closed shower curtain is hiding a masked serial killer, ready to torture me.
—I will awaken to Harry cat, hanging between the blinds he crawls through every day as he tries to leap off the windowsill.
—The food I’m eating contains botulism or some other equally horrifying poison and I will be wrought with food poisoning and die.
—There is a rat or a snake waiting in the school toilet, ready to nibble on my rump.
—The next time my phone rings, it will be the worst kind of call, the kind no one ever wants to get.
—I will awaken to a man cutting the screen off of my open bedroom window and Andrew will have to fend him off.
—One of my students will puke all over my classroom, and some of it will get on me.
—There is a man waiting for me in my back seat, and someone will have to flash their headlights at my while I drive in the dark to prevent me from being killed (anyone remember this gem of a Scary Story?).
—My airbags will deploy while I’m driving.
—My airbags WON’T DEPLOY in the face of an accident.
—Every time I see a cop, I fear I’ll be arrested. Do I do things that are illegal? Not very often. Do I have any reason to believe that I’m in any sort of trouble? Not one. Still? IT FREAKS ME OUT.
*If you’re wondering, yes, I am aware that I’m at least slightly insane.
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It’s inevitable that when you talk about your boyfriend, people are going to ask: “Well, what does he do for a living?” Andrew has no ordinary profession. He is a full-time, professional poker player.
Let me guess what 99% of you just said in your mind: “IS HE ON TV?”
And let me get this out of the way now: No. No, he is not, just like 97% of the professional poker players in the world. Some play casino games exclusively online, some just at casinos, and others just at large tournaments. Maybe someday you’ll see him on the World Series of Poker or High Stakes or any other poker show, but not now, OK?
The second most common response I get when I tell people that my boyfriend plays poker for his job is to tell me THE WORST GAMBLING STORY THEY KNOW. I’m not talking about the one time they blew the $50 they got for their birthday at the casino. I’m talking the full on hysterical ones: “Oh my god, my uncle’s best friend’s daughter’s prom date is a professional gambler, and you know what? He lost EVERYTHING playing black jack. Their house, their cars, every last red cent they had. GONE. All because of black jack! It’s so sad…”
One of my favorite stories ever was when a woman I know claimed that the mafia runs all casinos. Her “tale of POKER DOOM” was that a friend’s husband had been a gambling addict forever, and “got clean” before eventually falling back into the clutches of the casino once again. She claimed that one night, he and his wife went to bed, when they were awoken by pounding on their front door. It was…THE MAFIA. They took his house, all of his money, their cars and their possessions, leaving them penniless. All because he gambled at a casino and THE MAFIA RUNS ALL CASINOS. She cautioned me against THE MAFIA.
so, it's not this crazy at our house, but darn close...
Being totally clueless about poker has definitely made being with a pro poker player quite the experience. I occasionally go watch Andrew play, and I’ve been inundated with a whole lot of new vocabulary from “that’s a sick beat” or “what a gross hand” as well as finally educating myself about what a flop, a turn and a river are when it comes to the table. I had no idea there were so many billions of different types of games from HORSE (which I always thought of as a basketball game) to Omaha (a small city in Nebraska). I’ve learned about making a wheel, and having the nuts (not nearly as sexy as you might think, at least when the poker table is concerned). The first time he complained about getting “sucked out on” I thought we’d be breaking up for sure, because isn’t that my job? The other big thing is TIME. Andrew plays both cash games and tournaments. Cash games you can leave any time, but tournaments can take forever. I have found that the time a tournament takes is inversely proportional to my tolerance of it. Sometimes he plays Sit-N-Go’s, but more often than not, I find he Sits-N-Stays. Like, way longer than I can tolerate.
Poker + LOL Cats = total torture to me.
I’ve also met the scum of the earth. I kid you not. Poker players often refer to the most serious among them as total degenerates, and let me confirm for you: THEY AIN’T KIDDING. I’ve sat near men who look as if they’ve never washed their hair, guys who appear to not believe in changing clothes and seen more unfashionable visors and sunglasses than I can shake a stick at. Occasionally, people will ask Andrew why he doesn’t bring me around the card room more often, and he’ll tell them: she’s not that kinda girl. And he’s totally right.
I do enjoy some of the funnier moments. For example, Andrew played once and I tagged along. I was drinking, he wasn’t; however, he acted like he was drunk to throw the game, asking people if he should call or bluff or raise. I proceeded to get silently drunk, while he chugged tonic water and GOT CUT OFF. It was hysterical watching this floor manager get all huffy and tell him he had to take a break from drinking, when really, the drunk one was sitting behind the table. I also enjoy trips to tournaments, which entitle me to a comfy bed in which to sleep, unlimited television while he plays and fancy dinners out. Unfortunately, it also comes with midnight phone calls that he’s made the final table and I should come watch and sketchy characters who hang out in Reno, NV.
One of the cuter habits (in my own humble opinion) I’ve picked up on is poker lingo. It’s not unusual for me to walk in on Andrew shouting at the computer things like “HOLD ONE TIME!” when he wants a flop or a turn or something to stay in his favor, or “GET THERE!” when he needs a better card, or my personal favorite, “GOGOGOGOGOGOGO” when cheering friends on in tournaments. I try to use these as often as possible in daily conversation. Need him to do something? GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO. Trying to get him to keep doing something? HOLD ONE TIME. For some reason, he finds this annoying. Also, when he is playing serious tournaments, I like to shout or IM him all of the poker lingo I know. It’s my own version of “good luck.”
While I never, ever envisioned myself in a relationship with a man who plays poker professionally, it’s been quite a ride, and it’s one of my goals to learn to play. And while I don’t love tournaments that last ’til 4 in the morning and sometimes being ignored in favor of Full Tilt, it’s definitely introduced me into a world I’d know NOTHING ABOUT if I hadn’t been with Andrew. And that my friends, is a royal flush. Or something good and pokery.
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1) Returning to the site of date night for an amazing dinner of filet mignon, stuffed shrimp and creme brulee–pure heaven!
2) Andrew getting me a membership to Fitness MD, something I’ve been wanting soooo badly that will all but guarantee that I will lose weight! I am so glad!
3) Phone calls, texts, Facebook posts, cards from friends and family. I felt very, very loved!
4) My students being absolutely adorable and writing all over my board, giving hugs and being so stoked about it being my birthday! I think they were more excited than I was. The $20 Starbucks card they got me didn’t hurt either 
5) Being really, really excited to start this next year in my life.
I’m 26 today. As I wrote yesterday, I think that 26 is the most boring age to be, ever. I had a lovely weekend celebrating with my family and have no idea what my sweetheart of a boyfriend has planned today. I do, however, have a thrilling day of standardized state testing ahead of myself…ugh. I feel so bad for my little worker bees, plowing along through these torturous tests.
A yearly tradition I’ve had for the past few years is to make a list of things I want to try for the year ahead—using the number that corresponds with my age. So…
26 Things To Do At 26
1. Finally work on learning the guitar, either with my DVD or with the help of my brother or dad. I was a musician for many years and it makes me so happy. I want to create more space for this in my life.
2. Keep working on my blogging. I don’t have a huge audience yet, but I love it, and have been learning a lot, and definitely want to keep it up.
3. Submit some freelance writing and try to work on getting published—a goal I’ve had since I was a young girl.
4. Keep gardening. It’s amazing that something so seemingly silly has brought such joy to my life, but it has and I want to look for opportunities to expand my little garden.
5. Start seriously and aggressively saving for the Europe trip Andrew and I have been dreaming of so that we can make that dream a reality in summer 2010.
6. Keep experimenting in the kitchen with more healthy recipes.
7. Sing karaoke! I’ve never done this, so it should be an experience and a half. Also, one requiring a significant amount of alcohol.
8. Be a better teacher. Keep working and being committed to learning more about how to teach effectively.
9. Learn to take pictures and acquire a good camera.
10. Get the new I Phone. I’ve obsessed long enough, and I’m sure Andrew is super tired of me molesting his all the time.
11. Try and do something new and exciting every weekend, specifically something that doesn’t cost a lot of money.
12. Take a sushi making class.
13. Spend more time in San Francisco and Lake Tahoe—two amazing places that are so close, but I never visit.
14. Go camping…hopefully in Yosemite.
15. Start volunteering on a weekly or bi-monthly basis with the homeless or adult literacy.
16. Lose the extra 50+ pounds I’m carrying around for good.
17. Write in my journal regularly.
18. Try and stay more on top of the little things I hate: grading, laundry, etc. Doing a little bit at a time makes life so much easier, yet I tend to let it pile up.
19. Learn to play poker. Yes, my boyfriend is a professional poker player and I’ve never played.
20. Take Andrew to Monterey for a romantic vacation…my favorite place ever.
21. Start using reusable bags and explore making more natural cleaning products.
22. Be more considerate of others. Try to put myself in others shoes before acting or speaking.
23. Be a better communicator: more honest but also more gentle.
24. Continue taking better care of myself: nail, skin and hair routine, and dressing better, as well as taking vitamins, getting sleep.
25. It literally strikes fear into my heart to write this, but go to the dentist. I HATE THE DENTIST.
26. Incorporate yoga and meditation into my weekly routine.
For me, 25 was a pretty great year. I learned a lot, and grew up a lot. I learned a lot about who I am, and who I’m not, and really learned to feel more comfortable in my own skin. Sometimes, I contradict myself: I like to read literature while watching reality TV. I love chocolate and vegetables equally. I laugh and cry easily. In the past, I’ve allowed my little idiosyncrasies to make me feel uncomfortable or awkward. I want this year to be about really reveling in who I am and who I’m not, and learning to incorporate the things I really, really love into my life.
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
—Walt Whitman, “Song of Myself”
I’m not a huge numbers person, but I just looked at my stats counter, and realized that I just hit 2,000 blog views since starting this blog last month. WHOA!
I just want to offer a heartfelt thank you to those of you who read, comment and hang out at Just A Titch. I am so honored, and am thrilled to have been able to check out some of your blogs in return.
Thanks for reading and being part of the stories I post here…
I turn 26 tomorrow, something that seems totally un-glamourous, since 26 is the most boring age ever. Nevertheless, as much as I hate birthdays, the one thing I do really like is the opportunity to reflect on the year gone by, and think back on all that’s been accomplished and learned, and understand how I changed and grew as a person. Without further adieu, here are the 25 Things I Learned/Accomplished/Changed At 25:
1) I really, really found my groove at work. I loved teaching immediately, but it took some time to adjust. My second year of teaching as been incredible. I’ve figured out what works for me, what doesn’t work for me and how I want my classroom to run and feel. It’s a good feeling to do what I love every day.
2) I learned a lot about myself when I’m NOT being a teacher. I found myself incredibly depressed over the summer because I wasn’t teaching. This year, I will be better prepared and will plan some fun things to do. As much as I yearn for a break all year, I’ve found that I need to be entertained and have a schedule.
3) I finally started using budget tools (Mint.com and online bill pay) that really revolutionized how I thought about money. It feels good to be a little bit more in control of an area that really stresses me out.
4) I ran my first 5K!
5) I pursued things I like to do: tried my hand at knitting, gardening, yoga, Scrabble, crosswords. I’ve learned how important it is for me to try these things and make them part of my life.
6) I made and sent my own Christmas cards and Valentines. While this seems like a little thing, I really, really want to be better and more intentional about connecting with friends and family, as well as take time to be creative. This served both purposes and I was extremely glad I did it.
7) I moved out of one of the most stressful living situations ever!
I met Dooce and Mighty Girl, two of the people I admire most.
9) I bought my own website (this one!) and started trying to take myself more seriously as a writer.
10) I started saying “no” to things I didn’t want to do, when I used to want to say “yes” out of obligation.
11) I saw a lot of good music, starting with Kanye West and Coachella and ending with Bridge School Benefit and a few local shows.
12) My obsession with crosswords and Scrabble grew and I am now a half-decent player at both.
13) I celebrated weddings, engagements and new babies with a lot of close friends! It was definitely a joyful year for so many that I love.
14) I learned a few handy tricks: tea tree oil solves all problems, there is special tape you can use to “hem” your pants (key for a shorty like me) and not to leave your cell phone on a burner.
15) Undoubtedly, this should be number one, but I fell in love. And not just smarmy-mushy feelings love, but real, true love where I see someone warts and all, and let him see me the same way, and we love one another anyways. I took a chance on a relationship and watched it pay off in ways I never imagined. I have learned at least 25 things from this, but above all: love is always worth it. Always.
16) I moved in with a boy!
17) I came to terms with my reality TV obsession.
18) I learned that the key to having clear skin for me is Cetaphil + astringent + moisturizer + drinking copious amounts of water.
19) I visited the hometown of the person I love most, and learned a lot about where he came from, which was such a privilege.
20) I had to learn to let some friendships grow, change or evaporate. I’m not particularly good at this. Letting go of people is hard for me; however, I have learned to accept that some people are in your life for a reason or a season—and then they go. It’s been painful, but I’ve learned to cope and accept all of the good gifts life gives.
21) I have fallen in love with cottage cheese, honey on everything, Crystal Light and shrimp.
22) I have reconnected with old friends that I’ve missed and gotten to renew friendships. This truly has been one of the best parts of the year.
23) My relationship with my family has grown even more. I’ve come to realize even more that I’m incredibly fortunate to have a family that is such a huge part of my life. We’ve done weekly dinners and game times and talk regularly throughout the week. My parents are my closest friends and biggest supporters, and my family makes me laugh. Even better, they’ve embraced Andrew and it’s been fun to spend time with all of my favorite people in one room.
24) I’ve realized how much I LOVE cooking and baking, especially with fresh ingredients. This is something I hope to incorporate into my life a lot more over the next year.
25) I’ve recommitted to taking good care of ME, with working out, eating well, sleeping, drinking water…it feels really good.
first iced coffee of the summer...
first pedicure of the summer
*Yes, my boyfriend gets pedicures with me. Make fun of him, and I’ll punch you!
first tomato flowers...
first herbs sprouting...
first time i can really tell my artichokes are growing!
My good friend Leslie and I have kind of a running joke or “event” that happens whenever we hang out. We get bashed on in some way. Our first time was when we were walking down the streets of gorgeous midtown Sacramento, when guys drove by in a car and said, “Gays are disgusting! Disgusting bitches!” as we perused art. For the record, we are not lesbians, and even if we were, um, pretty sure downtown Sacramento is not your scene if you hate gay people.
The next time we had it happen, we were enjoying dinner at Red Robin. We both share a deep love of their french fries and ranch, their burgers and their desserts. Sometimes, girls just gotta eat, so we went there fully intending on having a big old dinner. We ordered dessert and were served with a HUGE piece of mud pie.
Like, really huge:
Yes, it was that good. Photo stolen from Leslie...thanks! Hope you don't mind!
Anyways, as we were enjoying this beautiful creation, two guys leaned over our booth and ogled our giant piece of heaven. One of them said, “We were just seeing if you were gonna finish it!” The other one replied, “Oh yeah…those two are gonna finish it!”
Thanks for calling us fat, JERKS!
Since that meal, we’ve had our sushi choices mocked and are always on the lookout for the next time we’ll be insulted.
Today’s fat bashing came from someone I’ve never seen, however. Someone who doesn’t know me whatsoever. Someone who’s not even real. Yes, that’s right: I was fat bashed by A HOROSCOPE WEBSITE. I found a sort of funny website based on your astrological sign, and since I was just bored on the couch, I thought I’d take a gander. This was my result:
Amy E is deeply sensual. Her senses of touch, smell and sight are highly refined. And as for her taste? It’s impeccable. Amy is extremely discriminating – when she sees the best, she won’t ever settle for anything less. She would rather ‘go without’ than go for a poor substitute. But then that’s Amy all over. It really isn’t fair to call her ‘stubborn as a mule.’ Mules are adaptable, easy going creatures who are always eager to please – or at least, they are by comparison to Amy E. Unfortunately, for a person with such expensive preferences Amy is not a millionaire …or at least, not yet. You never know, it may just happen because Amys’ relationship with money is very interesting. She treats it with a curious mixture of disdain and respect. She never lets it stand in her way, yet she will go out of her way to get it when she needs to. Amy is a smart cookie and a shrewd operator. It is not though, merely in the field of finance that Amy E displays intuitive wisdom.
Amy has an affinity with nature. She can make almost any plant flower and bear fruit. This is just as well because Amy has a hearty appetite. She likes her food as indeed she likes all her creature comforts. Fond though she is of all the above – and of all life’s little luxuries – there is one more source of endless fascination that Amy cannot resist. Amy doesn’t so much have a hearty appetite for sensual pleasure as a ravenous hunger for it! Which is funny really because you wouldn’t necessarily think it to look at her. Amy likes to play it cool. Amy likes to pretend that nothing bothers her, fazes her or excites her. Like all Taureans though, Amy E is a powerhouse of passion, as those who are lucky enough to know her – or to love her – will breathlessly testify.
I was glad to read about my gardening talents…that makes me happy since that’s my current obsession. And I’m not opposed to being called a powerhouse of passion. But “This is just as well because Amy has a hearty appetite. She likes her food as indeed she likes all her creature comforts”? REALLY? I’m not saying it’s wrong, but what the hell? Even the internet knows I’m a fatty?
That kinda sucks.
*Care to be insulted? Check out your horoscope here.
Between being bogged down by grading and having a host of other commitments lately, it’d been awhile since Andrew and I took a day and did something fun. There’s an upscale shopping complex near our apartment that I’ve been meaning to check out, so we took a little trip over there. It was a perfect day out—sunny, 80 degrees and not too terribly crowded.
When we arrived, Andrew saw a booth advertising something tennis related, so he went to check that out while I wandered into Anthropologie. I love that store and it’s whimsical, earthy, adorable clothes; however, my wallet cannot justify $78 for a t-shirt, no matter how floaty and diaphanous it may be. Naturally, I booked it to the sale section, where I oohed and aaahed over the adorable clothes…that were still out of my budget. A few minutes later, Andrew burst in and said loudly, “Oh, thank god you’re in here! I asked the sales lady where the midgets might shop!” He drew quite a few looks from the rest of the sale browsers, and I, of course, was mortified. He likes to tease me about my height (5″1, compared to his 6″4) but isn’t usually so LOUD about it. I spent the rest of our time in the store keeping him from sitting on the perfect bedding and mocking some of the more “adventurous” jewelry. This, friends, is why you don’t take your boyfriend to Anthrolpologie. My next stop was Sur La Table, the world’s most amazing cooking store. For a total kitchen tool freak like me, this store is heaven. I seriously wanted to crawl into a Le Creuset dutch oven and fall asleep. They have amazing things to salivate over. I fantasize about one day having every kitchen tool you could ever dream of: creme brulee torches and sushi makers and all of the cool little gadgets for chopping and slicing and mixing and grating. Someday!
Andrew & me...
Such a gorgeous day at The Fountains...
After shopping and wandering around outside for a bit, we headed over to Whole Foods for lunch. We wandered around the amazing food selections, trying to decide on some of their Mexican or Indian food, and finally settled on sandwiches. They were delicious. But the real delight came at dessert. Andrew had never, ever had gelato or sorbetto. Since he loves sour stuff, he was content with pineapple and strawberry sorbetto. I have an insatiable sweet tooth, so I went for the Salted Caramel gelato. And OH MY GOD. It literally was the most amazing thing I’ve ever put in my mouth. I can’t say enough about it. If you live remotely near a Whole Foods or somewhere else that sells gelato, get off the couch and run, not walk to see if they have Salted Caramel gelato. You won’t be sorry.
All my window-shopping wasn’t in vain. When we finished, we rolled over to Ross, where a normal gal on a teachers budget can go nuts. I’m a total skirt-lover, so I picked up a few summery skirts, a new black shirt (I can NEVER have too many) and some more Fit and Fresh tupperware for $6.99! I was so thrilled! And definitely got 3 cute skirts, a shirt and kitchen stuff for the price of ONE skirt at Anthropologie…which is good news in my book.
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